The Unfair Sex


How many of you knew that women are referred to as the ‘fairer’ sex? First, fairer in terms of color and then fairer in terms of letting men live their lives for them. An old saying goes this way.

“mukhyo dharmaH smr^tiShu vihito bhartr^shushruShANam hi”

Roughly translating to “Women are enjoined to be of service to their husbands”.

It’s 2013 and still more than 90% of the population thinks the same. Out of it 40% are women. It is sad and irritating at the same time. I’m not a feminist here, but the point is simple. When both men and women come from the same set of sperms, why the inequality? Now you might argue saying that it’s the man who brings the sperm, hence he’s superior. But of what use is an uncooked bun without the oven? The woman not only contributes an egg but also willingly carries the fetus within her for 9 whole months and endures bone crushing pain in giving the family an heir. Doesn’t that in itself make her superior? I’m afraid not many people think so. Also, she is the only one who knows the exact father of her child. At times, the man does not even know whose child he is raising. So where does the power lie?


The self acceptance of some women that they are supposed to be at least a step below their husbands or brothers is the most painful part. Till date, I have heard of many women being asked to stop their education just so their brothers can get a higher education. And the constant craving for a male offspring has already been discussed here. Why are women considered to be a burden? Why are women a taboo? Why are they called distractions? A zillion people have raised their voice and a zillion opinions were heard, but none good enough to give a woman her right place. That is right next to a man. And if possible, higher.

No, I do not want to be placed upon a pedestal and offered prayers. All I want is respect for the woman kind. Why is that, that the kitchen is considered the only safe haven for a woman? And all that is expected of her is to cook, clean, wash, sleep with her husband, get pregnant, have children, take care of them and repeat this entire cycle again and again. And why is she confined to the corner of her house when she is menstruating? At times it is hard to believe that a woman on her period is still considered to be impure and by walking around the house she might bring ill omen to the family. Wow, just wow. Aren't having periods a sign that the woman is healthy and capable of bearing a child. And when she is called the Lakshmi of the house, how can she be considered as dirty? Only thing that is dirty and impure are the thoughts of people.


Next, a working lady is expected to magically have a perfect work life balance. In short, she is expected to rise by 5 am, clean the house, wash the yard, cook, wake the husband, prepare his breakfast, pack him lunch, send him off, wake the kids, get them ready, prepare their breakfast, pack their lunch, drop them to school, come back home, clean the house again, get ready, pack her lunch, head to work, pay all the bills on her way to work, work at the office for 8 hours, head back home, pick up the kids on her way, prepare a snack for them, help them with their homework, await the husband with a hot cup of tea, prepare dinner, feed the kids, put them to sleep, wash the dishes, sort out the menu for the next day, please her husband in bed, try to get some sleep and wake up at 5 am again. Seriously, how many hours do you think she is blessed with in a day?

And she is only supposed to be used as an object for sexual gratification. If she initiates sex, then she is a whore. If she unwillingly succumbs to a man’s carnal desires, then she’s a wife. The difference between the whore and the wife all lies in the male mind. Do you remember that ‘Baby hai busy, no abaadi’ ad from Idea? The very ad where all men try to get sex while their wives are busy with a 3G phone. Sure, that’s what wives like to do right? Watch TV and videos. If the ad had shown even one single woman trying to get her husband into bed, I’m sure the ad would have been taken off air after the first run. Interesting isn’t it? 

Remember that scene in ‘Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam’ where a group of girls ask a group of boys to tell them one thing that only guys can do and girls can’t. The guys then take off their shirts in public and the girls screech and run away. Just because women can’t take their clothes off in public, does that make men superior? And who defined this anyway? A man can walk around topless with just boxers and he easily blends into the background. Where as a women in a short skirt or a strappy top is ogled upon. Women should dress decently they say. Why? So that men don’t get aroused and rape them. So let me try to get this right. Women are supposed to dress conservatively as a precaution so that they don’t trigger excess of testosterone in men. After all which man can resist some skin show right? I’m sure Nirbhaya was dressed in a bikini when she boarded that bus. The seven accused should have been let free on spot. Which they soon will be.


And yes, women do need a male company to drop them home when it is late. Or they need a security escort while being dropped in a cab. This is not because the women are weak and helpless. It is because the men around are not strong enough to hold on to their temptations or desires. But will this reason ever be considered? I don’t think so. 

Mother India, we call her with all respect and celebrate freedom like there is no tomorrow. But what about all the other mothers who have been deprived of their freedom. A woman was not born only so that she could be a wife or a mother. There is absolutely no need for a woman to give up on a career to fulfill parenting duties. There is no need for a woman to nod her head for every illogical demand of her husband. If a woman does these, it is out of her own will. You see women are blessed with this annoying trait called ‘maternal instinct’. Be it towards an infant, her husband or her pet. She will do it till the end of time because she wants to. Selflessly. Imagine giving up about 25-30 years of your existence and willing to spend the rest of your life as someone’s helper or caretaker only. Imagine the strength that goes behind such a decision. Isn’t that alone, reason enough to make the woman superior among all living beings?

A woman does not have to dress like a man to get equality. And definitely she does not have to prove something to be considered equal. She is much above a man, she knows it. 

But her stupid heart you see, she prefers to stay content with equality.

~ Soumya

22 comments:

  1. So so so true, man.

    /she is the only one who knows the exact father of her child. At times, the man does not even know whose child he is raising/ if that doesn't hurt men where it hurts, then its not even worth being on the same planet anymore.

    A little respect is all we ask.

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    1. Oh you bet! That's all. Is it that hard?

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  2. A very very well written and hard-hitting post Soumya .. All we ask is just a little respect .. that's all !!

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  3. I like the last line " She is much above a man, she knows it. But her stupid heart you see, she prefers to stay content with equality."
    I don't know why I get perturbed each time when there is injustice done towards women.. I think it is high time we should stand for our own rights,. Raise our voice each time we hear injustice and show how much women are really capable of.. I pity those who think that a women is limited to only house jobs and her children.. Thoughtful post.. Keep writing..!

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    1. Thanks Priya. But I doubt if any improvement will come up in this area.

      Just hoping for the best.

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  4. Very well written soumya.. very strong and absolutely true.. looking forward for ur next one..

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    1. Thank you Ramya. Nice to see you here :)

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  5. I have given up on the the hope that things will ever change with the present times.. hope lies in the generation that women like us will raise.. let us see if that makes a difference :(

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    1. Seriously. Sometimes it feels that it all lies in our hands.

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  6. I actually feel woman are at par with men these days, even a level higher may be. But the society that we live in fails to recognize the very aspect.

    That paragraph about the work of a working woman : I just have one question there - What are men doing all the while ? And moreover these days women earn more than men in a house. What does that make men, the man of the house?

    A very well written post. And yeah, I respect you all people. Hats off.

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    1. Absolutely true.

      I was hoping this question would be asked by someone. All the while, men are just cribbing about how their wives are not doing the job right. Also, there are some men who help their wives in every chore. They are considered to be hen-pecked most popularly known as 'joru ka ghulam'. That's the problem with our society. Men who help their wives are not men enough. Women who seek help from their men are weak and incapable of handling the household. Its a lose-lose situation everywhere :(

      Thank you so much Ajay. Glad there are men like you out there :)

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  7. Very strong post. Very well written Soumya! :) You should freelance ;)

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    1. Thanks darling! Thinking of it. Someday maybe :)

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  8. No sex is fair or unfair, strong or weak. No gender superior or better than the other. For they were created to exist in perfect harmony and created out of equal love from a man and a woman. Like the yin and yang and every other duality in nature, they both are part of a whole. Neither can exist without the other. :-)

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    1. Totally agree, that's the generalized opinion.

      But does everyone agree on it?

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  9. If I have kids in future I will educate them about equality and respecting each other..

    You know,most of the time the women are not acknowledging their own rights..:(

    Hopefully the upcoming generation will be more open when it comes to equality..

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    1. Hats off to you for that.

      Seriously. At times the problem lies within the woman itself. Hard to get them to accept their rights.

      Hope is all we have.

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  10. Wow you have fished out really relevant points on gender equality.
    But on a different angle, I am a working Mom, wake up at 5 am and take care of my family. Because that is my idea of a family life and I wouldn't have anyone else pack my son's lunch box. I am also a programmer, which is again by choice and I am blessed to be continuing that. My husband gives me my space, and I blog, watch movies and sleep till noon on weekends which are the ONLY other things I want to do. However what keeps me going is the respect and space I get. If that is deprived from women that is when they are oppressed and taken advantage of.

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    1. God bless your husband! But there are a lot of women out there who are deprived of such understanding. You do the things you do by choice and not by force. That makes you more special and its only right that you are respected for it.

      But what about the other women?

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  11. I loved this post. Very well written. I wish all men could read this and understand the intensity of the content..

    And it goes out to all women as well. Be it wives or mother-in- laws or mothers. Lets start respecting each other for what we are.. and educate this to our sons as well.

    I have been following your blog for some time now. I like your writing.

    Good luck
    Pooja.

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    1. Educating others will be the start.

      Thank you so much Pooja :)

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Care to leave a word or two? Thanks for dropping by :)