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Red Veil


I reached the temple just on time. My hands were dyed in henna and the red veil flowed from my forehead to my hips as I waited carrying twenty three years of my life in a single bag. He was my future now. Thirty five minutes later, he called. "I can't do this, I'm sorry."

This is a fifty five fiction piece. A story in 55 words.

~ Soumya

Comments

  1. Like I say, your fiction posts always get to the soft spot in me. You are amazing with the emotions and the characters. Loved it.

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  2. Amazing post. Personally, I'd find it tough to encapsulate a story in merely 55 words

    Cheerzz
    CRD

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    Replies
    1. It sure is tough. Not impossible though. Do keep trying.

      Thanks!

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  3. Beautifully written - I am touched!

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  4. OMG THIS IS AWESOME. And sadly, its the story of many girls. I like how you can write short stories, keeping them really precise and then the long ones as well. Versatile writer you are! :)

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  5. Oh this is heart wrenching...Like the scene from SEX AND THE CITY....he leaves her all decked up!!

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  6. Ouch!
    commitment phobia.
    however unfortunate it might be...but thats so me! :/

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    Replies
    1. Not the phobia, no guts to face the future. I'm sure you are not that!

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  7. It hit hard. Beautifully enclosed with 55 words.

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Just like me, say what you feel. While constructive criticism is welcome, please keep it subtle and kind. Thank you!