Revenge


Vijay, my ex-lover, pointed the gun at my husband's head. I had left Vijay three years ago and he was thirsty for revenge. Tarun closed his eyes, but opened them when he heard the shot. Vijay lay dead before him. My hands were shivering as I slowly dropped the gun.

~ Soumya

24 comments:

  1. Too short and abrupt - you could have done a lot more to use the potential of the theme!

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    1. The theme was 55 fiction, not revenge. It is meant to be short. This is exactly how I wanted it!

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you! Will try to do better next time :)

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  3. Within the limited no. of words(F-55er) you have done well.

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    1. Glad you understand this madam. Thank you :)

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  4. If you had added five more words it would have become a wonderful 55 Word Fiction.
    It had the interesting twist at the end.

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    1. Thanks for the suggestion KP. I appreciate it. I wanted it to be under 55 this time though.

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  5. You convey a story in just few lines..Nice

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  6. Wow! I had tried writing a 55 fiction once, did not work for me :)
    Limitation on use of words makes me sort of claustrophobic!


    GBU
    Arti

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    1. Me too, that's why its challenging :)

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  7. I thought it was a continuation of one of your previous posts - Dishkyaoon.. Searched for the post and found out the names were not the same..
    Good one.. :) :)

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    1. I was hoping that someone would notice the similarities. You are awesome :D

      Thanks dearie :)

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  8. This is similar to something you had written right..?? I love the 55-fiction genre. Few words and lot to the reader's imagination. :-)

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    1. Oh yeah , much similar to Diskyaoon :D. This genre is awesome and challenging!

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