Being an extrovert I have a lot of friends. Friends to me, have always been the family that I never had. Being a rebel since childhood, I have always stepped out of home to make a life. No one I knew was fit enough to be a role model to me, hence I ventured out in search of one. I wanted to escape the clutches of lies, fake feelings and forced relationships. I chose to my make my relationships outside the house. And I'm so proud of myself for that. Some of the people that I have met, are my good friends today. And the rest are still awaiting the Karma, and I'm waiting to watch it. Friends form a vital part of my life. I choose to keep it that way. I never approach my family for anything. Any advice, any decision, any confession - friends first.
But then again, how many best friends can a person have? In my opinion, one. Friends are many, but how many of them actually know the real you? And do not judge you based on that? If your friends are the ones to judge, you might as well as make friends within the family then. My Facebook boasts of half a thousand friends, but how many of them actually matter to me? I can count them on my fingers. I'm blessed to have some great friends who, not only are there for me during my good days, but have stood by me during tough times too. Cal, my husband and my lover was my best friend a while ago. He still is. Since marriage, I have let go off a lot of friends. Mainly because I do not feel the need for them anymore. When you make a serious commitment, you can't give your hundred percent to everyone else. Not many understand that. When questions were raised, I decided that it was best to let go. I have everything in my husband and that's more than enough for me. But that's not the whole truth. You also need someone else apart from your partner to share a few thoughts with. Or maybe even to bitch about your life or your in laws. Some one who knows you inside out and some one who would understand what you say and why you say that.
My best friend still remains my childhood friend from school, Priya. I have spoken about her many times in my posts. She is someone who knows the real me and is bold enough to point out my mistakes. She is the one with whom I had my first drink. She is the one who knows about all my boyfriends. She is the one who knows my flaws and loves me irrespective of it. She is the one who has stood by me through every single thing. I have more memories with her than I have with anyone else. We have witnessed our heart breaks, our insecurities, our joyous moments all together. I have been a part of every part of her life, just like the way she has been an important part of mine. We don't talk every day and do not meet for months at times. But we still are and will be there for each other. She is the complete opposite of me and our views always differ. Yet, we are best friends. And will continue to be.
I have others friends apart from her too. But not as close. I meet them at certain occasions and we are a part of each others lives. But somehow I do not feel the need to share everything with them. I don't know why, but I feel that they would not understand me. They are very different than me too, but the comfort factor remains lacking. With Priya, somehow it is easy as our basics match perfectly. Here it is not like that. I've never been the one to go with the majority. I do not mind being the single woman standing on a side. I shall stick to my opinion no matter what. I would not compromise on what I feel or the truth just to please someone. Least of all, my friends, and they know it. They respect my opinion and let me be. My colleagues at work are my good friends too. But there is a limit to what I share with them. I like to keep it that way. But my friendship with them does not come in the way of work. When they are working with me in my project, they are just another one of my co-workers and the interaction is more transactional. I do not like to mix friendship with my own opinions.That doesn't mean I do not love them or will not be there for them. I'm a fierce protector of the people I care for. I always shall be.
Friends to me have been an extension of myself. They have been my family when no one was there. They have been my support when I was low, my strength when I felt weak and an anchor when I needed guidance. And this is an ode to them.