N - Needles


I was nine, when it happened for the first time. He came to my room with something in his hand, while I was fast asleep. He woke me up with a kiss. I remember slightly opening my eyes and smiling, as I saw my favorite uncle in front of me. He was my dad's elder brother. He pampered me a lot and always got gifts for me. But this time the gift was different. I looked closer to see what was in his hand. Something was shining against the dim moon light. I sat up and saw that it was a syringe with a long needle.

"What happened?" I slowly slur.

"Sshhh... You will not know anything." He says and plunges the needle into my arm.

The next day, I woke up without my pajamas. I was bleeding between my thighs and the pain was excruciating. I was unable to sit up as I look around the room for help. My uncle walks in with a wide smile on his face. I look at him with fear.

"So baby, did you feel anything?" He asks with an evil grin.

I begin to cry in fear and pain. He rushes towards me and covers my mouth with his hands. He takes out another syringe from his pocket.

"You make another noise or tell this to anyone I shall kill you with this." He says brandishing the needle in front of my weary eyes.

I stop crying and he lets me go. He pushes me back into the bed and rapes me for the second time. I lie motionless, scared of the needle, without a sound. Ten minutes later, he leaves.


This continued for years. My parents and his wife were killed in a car accident and he had no other choice but to take care of me. My grand parents lived in another city and I was too young to travel by myself. He took care of me in every way possible. He put me in the best schools, got me the best clothes and celebrated my birthdays in style. But every night, the beast in him awoke. I could have told my teachers or friends about this. But I did not want to. I wanted to handle it myself. When I reached puberty, he got careful. Along with the needle, he carried a condom. He did not understand that getting me pregnant was not the only problem here. Soon, I developed a phobia towards needles. I did not take any vaccinations and hence was always prone to illness. He took me to the best doctors and got me the necessary medicines, yet did not spare me even for a night.

I decided to put an end to this after my graduation. I was twenty one and all alone. I felt the need to move on. I hatched a plan and neatly executed it. The next day, my uncle was found dead. I called my neighbors who called the cops. They closed the case thinking that it was an insulin overdose. Only I knew what was in that syringe.

So now I was alone and paranoid. Any pointed object scared me. I ran away from chop sticks and forks. Any medication was taken orally. When I couldn't take it any longer I decided to overcome my phobia. On my twenty second birthday I gathered all my guts and walked into a tattoo salon. I got 'Survivor' inked on my arm. It did not hurt much. Somehow the pain set me free. A month later I came back for the second tattoo. This time it was 'Hope'. Tattoos helped me erase my pain. Suddenly, needles became a passion that gave me a new lease of life.


Today with thirteen tattoos on me, I'm the number one tattoo artist of my city. Every day I walk in to my studio with pride, which holds the board 'Needles'.

~ Soumya

44 comments:

  1. Dark :( It ripped my heart out for the girl.

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  2. The way it started I was shocked as to why would you leave such a picture in the minds of your readers...but now as it ended with a very positive note, I am happy :)

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  3. This was powerful and sad...I actually felt for the girl

    N for Nauseated-Random Thoughts Naba

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  4. So grasping. The kind of narration that clutches on to your soul!

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  5. That was someting Soumya. The way it started and the way it ended. Gripping and Powerful

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  6. Even in a story.. I feel like pulling such men out and punching them where it hurts most. Urghh!

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    1. Me too. I was so angry as I wrote this.

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  7. Loved the way u led the story towards the end...the transition of needle from a weakness to strength!

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    1. Yes, there always is a strength behind a weakness.

      Thank you!

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  8. Quite a story, unfortunately these incidents are so true. I think castration is a good punishment.

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    1. I totally agree. It should be a manual castration, not the chemical one.

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  9. I felt fr the girl... but in the end, i knew frm within..that the what she did was the best way to do it.
    I feel happy-yet-sad fr the girl...
    I actually cud connect the story to something which I actually went thru.. thus I know, facing ur fears and overcoming it is the only viable option you have, if u wish to survive !
    kudos Soumya...
    how I keep fallin in love with each of ur story! :) :*

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    1. You have to conquer your fears, no matter what. I'm glad you did :)

      Thank you my dear! <3

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  10. Story Telling is a Fine Art and You are overtly Blessed Soumya !!! I could visualize it every word of it and the way It ended was Phenomenal..Mwaaahhhhh

    Delight reading you alwez

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  11. Just one needle ended a decade long suffering. If I were her, I would have made him feel how it felt for decades to come. I know I sound evil, but I really would have.

    And well, a great post indeed and nicely portrayed. :)

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    1. She did not have time for that. She wanted to break free at the earliest.

      Thanks Ajay! :)

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  12. there is a spark in every life. there is a story in every breathe! those who deserve death would ultimately reach there and those who deserve smile would ultimately win them. good read with a positive aura Soumya :)

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  13. :( ouch. Liked the positive end though!

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  14. A sad story.That was not wise on her part not to have told her teacher.That should be the message for such hapless children

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    1. She wanted to deal with things herself. I'm glad she fought even if alone.

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  15. god forbid, that should never happen to anyone....the worst thing in such cases is being scared of confiding in anyone....at least we can teach our children to be vocal and give them enough trust to tell us their problems.

    well written Soumya..the pathos is brought out very well.

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    1. They should include this as part of the much hyped sexual education for children.

      Thank you Titli.

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  16. All along I could see the 'fear', 'pain', 'loneliness' 'anger', 'hate', 'pain', 'zeal to overcome all, to gain back the identity' , ‘spirit’ etc
    By the way the selection of the words 'SURVIVOR' and 'HOPE' is really awesome. Just the two words explain a lot about how she was feeling from inside. You really have a way with your words and emotions.
    That was a sad but wonderful read !

    An exceptional writer is someone who could feel or understand the emotions himself first before depicting it on paper. I do wonder why you haven't tried your hand at writing a novel yet. Do think about it please. :)

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    1. Thank you Aasyaan. I have started working on a novel, watch out for it :)

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  17. Victim to survivor.

    Amazing.

    I love my tattoo. These are scars we are willing to wear.In fact flaunt with pride :)

    Love it. Been missing on this blog. Making my way through now :*

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    1. Nice to see you back here darling! I'm glad you liked this :)

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  18. What an inspiring tale ... loved it Soumya. The fear, the pain leading to rage and anger, and finally she did the right thing. You are truly an amazing writer. You bring out emotions so well in your words. Awesome.

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  19. Kudos to women like this. Who have every reason to be fucked in the head and yet make something out of themselves.

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  20. Such a gripping story Soumya .... It happens all the time in our country.... Loved the way it ended :)

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