I was a very chubby kid, with plump cheeks and a round belly. And then I grew up! After the age of three, I grew tall and the weight distributed itself along my length making me skinny as hell. I was lesser than a size zero and no matter how much my mom tried, I was not able to put on weight. I, on the other hand was more than happy with myself. I did not care about what people said or what advice they gave. Some people automatically assumed that I was thin because I came from a middle class family and that we couldn't afford to eat much. No kidding. I stayed skinny for twenty five years. People advised my parents on calorie rich food, protein shakes and what not. Even though they did not care about what people said, when people rub it on their faces they start giving a little damn. While some were ridiculing me for being thin, some envied me to no end. There were rumors about how I was on a constant diet to remain thin. Yeah right! For those who know me, they know one thing. That is I eat like a pig. I love my meat and my vegetables and I haven't gone on a diet even for a single day. No matter what I ate, I never put on a gram. And people hated me for that. I did not care. At all.
Then suddenly it all changed for ever. One day I felt my that my jeans was too tight and it was making me feel uncomfortable. A few days later, it did not fit me at all. The next day, I checked my weighing scale. I was eighteen kilos heavier. Yes, you read that right. Eighteen kilos. I panicked. Not because I had gained weight, because it was all of a sudden and I had not realized it all. Smartly I went in for a medical test wondering if it was thyroid. People with thyroid tend to put on weight day by day and I was worried. The tests came negative. The second test revealed PCOS. My sister had the same condition before me, so it did not come in as a surprise. I was on a sabbatical from work for four months and during this period all I did was eat, read and sleep. This sudden change of routine spiked up my hormone levels and it completely changed my body. Me being stick thin before helped, as what showed on the weighing scale did not reflect on my body. It made me look normal instead of anorexic. My parents and boyfriend were very happy with this change. They thought I looked more healthy and happy. And then it all began.
People who called me skinny earlier, suddenly started passing snide remarks about my weight. A relative had the audacity to tell me that, all that I ate during my earlier years, was showing on my body now. Others started assuming that I was gaining weight because I was having sex. How ever is that connected I am not aware of till date. That is when I realized that people are very shallow. They have their comments no matter what. First they humiliate you because you were thin. Then the same people make it seem like the world's end because you put on weight. Bloody freaks. Of course I did not go around telling everyone that I had a medical condition and hence the weight. Like they would understand. Close friends knew and very more than happy with the change and even advised me to stay healthy to battle PCOS. Not one of them asked me to lose weight. They asked me to maintain my current weight and work out. And so I did.
I was at my heaviest during my wedding and there were crazy rumors doing the buzz. Funnily, it did not matter to me all. By now I had realized that people will talk no matter what. I've had friends who turned from potato sacks to size zeros and think that they rule the world today. I know obese people who still get humiliated and fear stepping out of the house. I know of chubby kids who are picked on at college. The self confidence of such people is a size zero. And the people around them are the ones responsible for it. Humanity has long ago got replaced with vanity in this world. And until you have a perfect figure and flawless skin, you will be considered an outcast. I see kids these days starving themselves to death. Some even take up smoking because they live under the impression that smoking helps them lose weight. Shallowness seems to be the in thing these days. Its a sad and desperate world out there. I'm glad my self confidence remained intact from my skinny days to my healthier days to my fattest(to other people) days.
(That is me, before and how I am today)
My doctor still tells me that I need to lose about eight or ten kilos. Not because I am fat, because it will help me battle this condition. When I told my parents and in laws that I need to lose weight, they laughed it off. But they became vary when I told them it was what the doctor had advised. So now, I'm trying to lose my weight, so that I can get rid of PCOS. And not because I am shallow and want to flaunt an enviable body. I am vain to a certain extent, but I will never ever do something because people around expect me to do so. Fat or stick thin, I shall remain the same me from within. Read this, you will know what I mean.