All That I Am

I am me, just let me be.

I am the younger of the two daughters born to my parents. Apparently when I was born, my grandparents cursed my parents for giving birth to yet another girl child. Everyone looked down upon my folks for having two daughters, wondering how will they get us married. Today both my sister and I are in very good positions at reputed companies and taking care of our parents very well. The same people are now forced to eat their own words. Being a woman has never held me back from doing anything that I wanted to do. And by anything, I mean everything. I refuse to be labelled as the weaker sex. We live in a country where we are forced to use words like equality and feminist. Suddenly 'feminist' is a bad word and any woman who calls herself one is labelled as bold. Every one has a right to stand up for themselves. This applies to both men and women. I have lived all my life being proud of the fact that I am a woman and it definitely takes more than one word to define me.

Daughter: My first role and the primary point of my being. Being a girl child has never stopped me from fighting for my rights as well as that of my parents. If I was mocked by boys in school, I would fight with them without thinking twice. People tried to label me a rebel, but I was just someone who wanted to let be. Today, even though I am married, my parents remain my priority and I would take care of them as long as I'm alive. 

Friend: I have a small bunch of friends who I am very protective about. I wouldn't mind dropping my girl friends off first and then going back to my own place. No, I'm not trying to be a man here. I am just me as I know that I can take care of myself very well. Since they mean a lot to me, I'm concerned for their safety first. Isn't that what friends do? 

Career woman: It has been almost seven years since I started working and this is the thing that defines me the most. I have a firm head on my shoulders and I'm dedicated to my work round the clock. This gives me my daily bread and butter and there is no way I am compromising on this one. If a man is the breadwinner, then it is the woman who brings home the oven.

Writer: This is something that gives me utmost happiness. My chaotic mind needs an outflow and writing to me is just that. I do not think twice about writing what I feel. As long as it is the truth I am fine with it. If others have problems, then it is not my problem. Even when I have had a busy day, I make sure that I take time out to write. Every emotion that I feel has made it into something I write. I don't see myself without writing. I need it to survive.

Dancer: No I'm not a trained dancer, but dancing is the best rejuvenation for me. It helps me let out steam and perks me up instantly. It need not be on a stage or a performance. I can just dance haphazardly to any tune in front of my mirror and feel good about myself. I have performed on stage of course, but the peace I get when I dance like no one is watching is something else altogether.

Bibliophile: Everything that I know and all that I am today is because I read. Books are what I spend most of my money on and I have not regretted that one bit. I would never have thought of becoming a writer had I not been a reader. My language today is polished because I read. I know the big words because I read. I know what is happening around me because I read. It is hard to manage the time to read and write, but it is worth the effort. Reading has even thought me the art of multitasking.

Poetess: The best way that I can express feelings is in the form of a poem. Somehow poetry is very easy for me to write when compared to fiction. I like rhyming words and seamless poetry. This gives me inner peace and it is the closest that I have come to Nirvana.

Painter: When words fail to do justice to my thoughts, paints come in handy. Thanks to my mother, I have a crazy creative streak in me that refuses to die down. I can draw, doodle and paint as and when I like. Or feel. It is the most sacred form of expression.

Designer: Yes, I can stitch my own clothes. I have a quirky sense of dressing and most often than not I design my clothes myself. I pick up fabric, cut it and stitch it myself. It is not that I cannot to afford to buy clothes. Making my own clothes gives me a sense of independence and I feel proud of it.

Bold: Most of the people on the blogosphere know me as that bold writer. They make me sound like I write porno stuff. I write what the truth is and how I see it. I do not expect to make a change in the world or preach something to someone. I write and do things that I think is right. If that is called being bold, then I am. I am not afraid of standing up for what is right or questioning the existing system. If that is called being bold, then I am. I have the guts to accept the truth and talk about it. If that is called being bold, then I am. I can dig up the truth and rub it on the faces of others. If that is called being bold, then I am.

Masterchef: I do not cook because I am a woman. I cook because I enjoy cooking. And baking. Food to me is an edible form of love and I am absolutely in love with it. I love cooking and feeding it to people. Especially cakes and desserts. I can whip up a meal under thirty minutes and I do not consider it a chore or a duty. I repeat, I cook because I love cooking, not because I am a woman.

Wife: I fell in love and since society needs a paper to prove a relationship, I got married. I am a wife yes, but primarily I'm still a lover who is madly in love with her man. Being a wife, doesn't mean that I have to take care of my husband and do all the household chores. I don't do that. I'm a companion for life, not a personal maid. Whatever has to be done, we do it together. Society cusses and curses, but I refuse to bow down to it.

OCD Freak: I like things done a certain way and I'm proud of it. My clothes must be folded the right way, and the books in my shelf should be arranged author wise. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I have a lot of quirks and I'm very happy with it as it is something personal to me. And I do not trouble anyone with it. Whatever has to be done, I do it myself.

Social: I love my work and I love to cook. And I love to party like there is no tomorrow. I like to wear fashionable clothes and let my hair loose once in a while. That does not mean that I'm an easy target. I can hold on to my alcohol and proudly state the fact that I drink. That doesn't mean I'm a slut. I can voice out my opinions on social forums or in a crowd. That doesn't mean that I'm an attention seeker. I am a woman who knows what she is doing and has no reason to not have some fun.

Not ready to be a mother: It has been close to two years since I've been married and every Tom, Dick and Aunty are asking us about a baby. At every occasion, every gathering, this is the topic in hand. People look at us like something is wrong with both of us. Its a personal choice. I feel that I am not ready to be a mother yet and my husband stands by my side. He doesn't want a baby either and we are very happy showering all our love on each other. I refuse to abide by the society report card. I love my life the way it is and right now I have no space or need for a baby in it.

And at last but not the least,

Feminist: Not that male bashing kinds. I'm a kind of feminist who believes that woman do not need any special rights. I do not expect special privileges to be given to the woman either. I just believe that men and woman are equal and they need to be treated equally without any bias. Be it at work or at home. The pay scale should be equal too and karma should be put to rest. That's all I ask. And if that makes me a feminist then so be it.

These are all the things that define me as a woman and I am proud of each and everything. I could have easily chosen just one or a few of this. But instead of an 'OR' I chose an 'AND'. That is the best ever thing that I have done in my life. It is not something extraordinary. It is just normal to want to be a lot of things and put in the effort to succeed. Even a man has to choose a lot of things in his life. But they are never spoken about. But it is always a woman who is scrutinized for her choices. Put me under a microscope and peep into my life as and when you like, that is not going to stop me from being what I am. I am not trying to be super woman or bat woman here. I'm a simple woman, who is not afraid to do what she wants and can stand up for herself. And no label can do justice to this.

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus.

46 comments:

  1. This post is just woww..!!
    Loved every bit of it!

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  2. Lovely post and I felt as if I was reading about me... 7 yrs I have been working, I blog, I write poems, I paint, married with 3 years and being pestered to be a mother which I am avoiding ... ha ha... Definitely we are all made of many ANDS... lots of power to excel at everything...

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  3. U may not be trying to be a super woman and yet with such an awesome list, u r already one or better maybe? :) Woah! painting, dancing, cooking, and what not! Loved the post Soumya and best wishes! Continue doing what you love without a bother :) :)

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    1. Awww how sweet are you :)

      Thank you so so much :)

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  4. You have said it all Soumya. Let them raise their voice, it'll still not be loud enough to drown the volume of your words. I love it!

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  5. This post portrays the real you and like you, it is AWESOME! Hats off to you, Love. What I love most about you is that you are not afraid to speak what's on your mind. And the fact that you don't care two hoots about what other people may think. Lots of love!

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    1. Thank you so much for all this love :)

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  6. You are one amazing woman I have come to know because of blogging. I love the way you speak your mind in your posts. Keep going :)

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  7. You are simply superb and this post is simply awesome! I always look up to people who speak their minds. Stay the same-bold and beautiful!!

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  8. The post was a great read, but what is even better is to see how well you can define yourself and the roles which define you. Good to know you more, Soumya!

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    1. Wow, you are here! :)

      Thank you so much for reading Sakshi!

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  9. Nice post, Soumya ! You are indeed unique and multifaceted !

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  10. Awesomely awesome is I can say and I completely agree with "Feminist" & "Not ready to be a mother" part..we have right do decide how we live rather then going by Societal Measurements..All the best!!

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  11. You are a super heroine!!! :-)

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  12. Like I've said like a million times before - you inspire me! I'm so glad you are all these things and so much more. May the 'Ands' keep increasing :)

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  13. Very strong post Soumya! Love every role you play :)

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  14. Nice one Soumya!
    Believing in what you are, rather than adhering to some sick society rules is indeed the first step towards 'living' life.

    Good life!
    And yeah, Happy New Year! :D (too late though)

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    1. Thank you Srishti! And a very happy new year to you too :)

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  15. I knew you'd whip up an awesome post for this and this sure did the justice :D You are my inspiration Leo!

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  16. everytime I come here I get something new to know .. I am sorry I am a bit erratic in coming here .. But glad I do when i turn up ..

    and there is a lot of YOU to know in the post for sure ..
    I loved the cooking part :) i think cooking has nothing ot do with women or men.. I cook because I love to cook and I love eating too so its beneficial :)


    Bikram's

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    1. I'm glad you come here even if erratic :D

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  17. Girl you are magic... I so love your confidence over yourself and all the women in general.. Love our feminist opinions..
    Please tell me how do you get time to manage so many things??? ;)

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    1. It is an acquired art :)

      Thank you so much for visiting!

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  18. Hey...This is a 'bold'....I should say a truthful post....

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  19. Very meaningful post. It is a privilege to know the writer you are reading and this one addresses it the best. All the luck for the contest. As an individual you already won.

    http://neoimaginations.blogspot.in/2013/10/abcd-of-being-right-or-wrong.html

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  20. Soumya, plz share some of your paintings :)

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  21. Of all the Indian writers my most favorite is Soumya. Just super busy that i can't have the chance to browse your blog but actually you're always in my heart. The way you write, the emotion, the honesty, the style, the words ...everything , i am embracing and instilling in my mind and most especially in my heart. Since ages i am already your Big Fan and until this hour and forever. I have learn so much in your blog , most of your lines captivated me. More power pretty, witty Soumya :)

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  22. It is really a WOW post that reflects power, skill and honesty. You seem like a super-woman. So good to know you, Soumya!

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