D: Diaper Talks #AtoZChallenge


I turn thirty this August and it is more than safe to say that most of the people I know this age, are parents by now. We all have heard of the societal rule book where one should get married by twenty four and have any number of babies by the time you turn thirty. Almost all the people I know have followed this rule to the tee. But for me, a baby has never featured on my priority list. Do not get me wrong, I do not hate babies. I like them a lot, in fact. But I have never really wanted to have one of my own someday. And this is what I think until now. Will I change my mind later? You never know.

Since I know a lot of parents, old and new, most of their conversations revolve around their children. You might be in a large group of ten people with three parents among them and yet most of the conversations would revolve around babies and everything else associated with them. I was once out for lunch with a group of my lady friends and all they spoke about was their children. They discussed which brand of diapers was the best, how to use the diaper right, how to get the most out of a diaper and how to dispose it off easily. I just sat there sipping drink after drink, while they discussed the certain expectations from diapers.

I do not mind meeting new parents but they need to understand that I'm not one yet. And probably will never be. So most of the things that they say goes right above my head and I end up feeling terribly bored. I know creating a life is magical and you cannot believe you made another person. Believe me, I'm extremely proud of you but that cannot be the only thing in your life right? Once I accompanied a friend who is also a mother for shopping as I had a huge list to buy too. Sadly I did not tick off even one item from my list because the only stores we went to were baby stores. I was not only pissed but disturbed too. A pregnant mannequin troubles me a lot. I don't know why, but it does.

Having a child doesn't mean that it is the only thing in your life. If you want to discuss a lot of things about children then please do it with other parents. Not with the ones who have never held a baby properly yet. There have been times when I just call a random person who is not a parent yet and talk to them for a long time while meeting friends who not stop talking about their babies. It is annoying and disrespectful at the same time. And while they decide to talk to me about something, it more often than not is about why I do not want to have a baby or the pleasures that I'm missing out on by not having one. If only killing was legal!

It is not only about in-person conversations. Even telephonic conversations are all about the child. If you call me to ask about how I'm doing, then listen to what I say. But first I hear screams in the back ground, then I hear the phone drop, then I hear random squeals and noises and if I manage to hold on to my patience and the call, the conversation soon veers towards what the child is doing, or had done or will do. I absolutely hate it! When you meet as friends you let go off the other roles in your lives and meet as friends at least for that some time. But some people just don't understand that. Discussing the price of diapers in every store of the city is not my idea of a conversation.

So until I tell you that I'm planning to have a baby or have had a baby, spare me from such conversations.

17 comments:

  1. I agree with each word of this post. Well done, Soumya!

    Damyanti, AZ cohost 2016

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  2. I agree Soumya. Sometimes I have to go with a group of guys as very few females in the group and all they can talk about is cars or cricket. I cannot bear it. I zone out. I can imagine it the same for you.

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  3. Being a parent or not should solely be a person's discretion. I wonder why people ask such questions, sometimes taunt also when it is none of their business.

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  4. I can't identify with this post, coz I'm still in the age where we talk about our crushes and boyfriends :p
    But really, it is true. Some people are experts at snubbing others in conversations, by selecting topics that not everyone can relate with and enjoy! How rude!
    It's best to carry earphones all with you when you go shopping with them. Or maybe that's just a teenage-escape-route? :D

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  5. This happens to me all the time! By all means talk to other parents about your own kids but spare me till I have one of my own and understand what you're saying. Sadly, some seem to take sadistic pleasure in piling information on information over us.

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  6. always have a kid for the right reasons...never under other people's pressure...and yeah, inspite of having two kids, the diaper talk was never on my conversation list too!! I remember, soon after i was married, people would ask us every now and then if there was any "good news"...and then after the first one, when were we having the second...and how the body clock is running out!! we gave them the good news only when we were ready!

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

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  7. Ha ha! Well, you never called me. I would just listen to you and the two of us can shop together and tick things off our list ;)
    Totally agree to each and every word!

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  8. Haha! My closest friend just had twins.. I cant decide if I should be the aunt that I want to or the stranger that I cannot be. The baby talks are just not for me!

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  9. I love you for writing this! I just turned 28 and all I hear since then is that the clock is ticking. Gosh, I wish ppl would mind their own business. If and when I want a baby, I will! :/ And among this friends/course-mates in the Army, we are the only ones who do not have a kid. Whenever their is a get-together or a party, the conversation always revolve around their kids. Imagine my plight!

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  10. Oh, one must have kids when they are ready for them and not based on societal pressure and such nonsense. As for baby talks... gosh! I recently spent two hours with a friend and her friend with a kid and those 2 hours were the most miserable hours of my life. So right from listening to rhymes, see him colour and watch his dozen videos and hundreds of pics, we got to know about his food habits, school mates, fav TV programs and what not. People are really really mad! And this I am saying when I have a teenager.

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  11. Happens with me all the time... All the bloody time. People are now suggesting mh parents to take me for treatment and stuff... I'm like are you serious? Don't you have anything better to do than advise my parents about what to do with my family planning! It is at this point the society really get on my nerves!
    By the way, I wonder how difficult it is to mind their own business? I don't speak in other's matters and I don't like to entertain someone speaking in mine.

    Great post Soumya.

    Cheers

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  12. You nailed it. There is no dearth of Gyaan Givers and what irritate me when people ask why I am not married reaching mid 30s. It's a personal choice and it doesn't make me lonely for F*** sake. It gets very irritating, I understand.

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  13. Oh I understand what you mean to say with this! Some people just don't mind their own business, do they?? Be it marriage or having babies after it, anyone or everyone has an opinion!

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  14. People interfere in other people's lives, give unsolicited advises as if it is their birth right. It is downright annoying. When and whether you want to have a baby or not is nobody's business but you and that of your partner.
    Baby talk has always bored me. I dare say so despite being a mother to a 4-year-old. I don't enjoy talking away about what all my kid does or hearing it from others because parenting a child of my kid's age is already stressful and I am more than happy getting a break as and when I can.

    I'm glad you've written this post, I hope someone who falls in the category of the people mentioned above will read it and see some sense.

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  15. i have just stopped socializing with that lot because i have discovered i have nothing in common with them. they think i am snooty and i think it is better that way
    just seeing facebook posts gets me irritable these days
    good one

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  16. Well written post. Also, there are people who can't keep the photos of their babies to themselves. They have to just throw it on you, no matter you are interested to see them or not.

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  17. Absolutely brilliant post! I am a mom, but I hate when people steer me into baby related conversations. Yes, I love my baby to bits but I need to talk about what else is going on in my life as well and I've felt like screaming on top of my voice and letting people know " I have a life, other than being a mother, as well". But, sadly, I hold onto my dignity and keep mum! :)

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