J: Justification #AtoZChallenge

As much as I love talking, one thing I hate the most is justifying. When you are an honest person with off beat choices, people expect you to explain every move of yours. I have hated explaining myself since I was a child. I'm a realist and being very practical, I tend to do things in a different way. Most people consider me foolish for doing this but my heart and mind have enough reason to do so. If it works, they ask me to justify the path I chose. If it doesn't work, they ask the same thing. Why? I am a normal human being with a sensible head on my shoulders. I have the capacity to make decisions and stand by it. If others doubt it, then I think they need to question themselves as to why they doubt it instead of asking me to justify it.

My parents don't ask me anything. They never demanded any explanations when I got home late after college or work. They trusted me and let me be. But I have seen ample cases where in one is expected to justify every move of theirs. Some of my friends are like this as well. If I tell them I can't meet them, they expect me to give them the whole story and prove it to them that I actually cannot meet them. How hard is it to understand that I might have other plans. Some people expect me to explain my dressing sense to them. Yeah, I'm not kidding. Some wanted to know why I'm dressed in skinny jeans most of the time and demanded a justification for choosing to wear them!

Even while I was dating, a few men have asked me to justify everything I do. Why I meet certain people, why don't I meet certain people, why did I not call them at the specified time and all that jazz. Needless to say those relationships were very short lived. I absolutely hate it when people constantly ask me about my writing. At one point of time, almost everything that I wrote on my blog demanded a justification and for no reason. If I wrote a melancholic poem, people used to ask me what's going on. If I wrote a post about somebody, every body else apart from the concerned person would call me up asking me why I wrote that and if it is about them. Talk about taking guilty consciousness to a whole new level!

I hate being questioned for my choices. Be it in fashion, books, writing, food or men. It's my life and I have the right to make my own choices. I don't ask you for justification, so please do return the favor.


  1. The more we justify ourselves, the more often we're expected to do so. Kudos to you for making it a point to never justify yourself. It is something I have only recently started doing and I am absolutely loving it :)
    More power to you!

    @theerailivedin from The Era I Lived In

  2. Totally second you here Soumya! Blow the world and its need to question an individual's choices and decisions. I totally hate explaining myself and find it demeaning at times! You know the clause that Ganga stipulates to King Shantanu before they get married? Ask me not why, where, when, how I do things? If you do, I shall leave you! What a smart lady I say!
    @KalaRavi16 from

  3. When someone is true to himself/herself, they needn't justify their behavior to the crowd. Ok may be telling once is fine. But being probed time and again is irritating.

    Do read my latest post:

  4. I think the reason why people ask for justifications is to fulfill their supposed duty of being concerned about your well being. I've experienced this when I get bad mood swings. I'm supposed to tell my friends why exactly I'm sad, when in reality I have absolutely no idea at all!
    It just gets on my nerves sometimes. It's cute sometimes, but not always.

    Weird fact: You had to justify why you don't like giving justifications :p
    Just kidding, Soumya. Well written post <3

  5. I agree with you. There's a fine line between curiosity about your reasons for something and a subtle demand for justification. I'm happy to talk about my interests and reasons and preferences, etc, but if I think someone is expecting justification, I'll clam up.

  6. :) and I totally agree with you. We make our choices and we needn't give any justifications to anyone for that matter!
    Visit to read Army Wife Tales at Tale of Two Tomatoes
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  7. Ditto for me! I don't justify myself too. people who understand you, do not need justification and those who don't, well, why bother to justify!

  8. Heyyy Soumya. Good to the point post. I am not one for justifications and feel trapped if asked


  9. Like Mithila said, you just justified why you don't like justifications :)
    Honest post and in your style.

  10. I can totally relate to this post. So many times people ask me for justifications. And about posts on the blog, I've had enough! Glad you brought this forth in a post.

  11. I can totally relate with this post. Many times I've asked for justifications by people. And about blog posts, I've had enough! I'm glad you brought it up in a post. Loved the way you put it.

  12. The thing is that people around us are very nosey people, so they have to know why we wear only jeans, why the kid is in a boarding school, why we called so and so for dinner and why not XYZ... the list goes on and on. My solution to this is dont explain anything at all. Let me fume, fret or assume!

  13. Thanks for sharing this useful post


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