Sixty Thoughts That Crossed My Mind While Watching SOTY 2 #NotAMovieReview

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The last post I wrote for #NotAMovieReview, was also a Karan Johar production. As is this one. I clearly have a thing for him looks like. When I sat down to diss a movie, my first choice was Kabir Singh, but I ended up loving that movie. The next and the obvious choice was Student Of The Year 2. Let me be honest here, I quite liked Student Of The Year 1. The movie was terribly unrealistic and cliched, but it gave us three newcomers who could actually act. It was a decent enough college romance although it reeked of KJoism in every frame.

When SOTY 2 was introducing two new girls along with Tiger Shroff, I was instantly sure that this is a movie that I would not watch. I like Tiger Shroff a lot though. He's well behaved, so modest and when he's not looking like a girl, he actually looks quite hot. SOTY is not something you can make a franchise of, but when you are a producer who has way too much cash in his account and is clearly the flag-bearer of nepotism, one can do anything they want. While KJo directed the first one, he hands over the reins here to Punit Malhotra, the director of I Hate Luv Storys. Yes, that very movie that featured Sonam Kapoor and her squeaky voice.

Armed with nothing but strength and patience, I sat down to watch KJo's latest interpretation of a college romance. Riverdale much?

*************** Major Spoilers Ahead ***************

1. Thank you, Will Smith? What? Why?

2. Sameer Soni is the principal this time. I love that guy, he's so smart.

3. Why does he speak like that? Is he gay just like the principal in part 1 played by Rishi Kapoor (I can't believe he agreed to that part)?

4. The Dignity Cup? Really?

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5. There's the first new girl. Tara something. Look at length of her dress! Gosh, she needs to wear better clothes.

6. Where is Tiger? I'm pretty sure he'll come flying or something.

7. And I'm not disappointed. He has a superman like entry.

8. So Tara is Mridula and Tiger is Rohan and they are childhood sweethearts.

9. A song called "Schoolwala Love" exists just to showcase point 8.

10. Mridula becomes Mia when she joins St. Teresa's college. Fake much?

11. Rohan studies in Pishorilal Chamandas college. Who came up with the name?

12. Yay, Rosesh from Sarabhai is here!

13. Rohan gets into St. Teresa's on a sports quota. Okay. Was flying not considered a special skill?

14. Amma dekh tera munda bigada jaaye plays when Rohan is putting his clothes together (or ripping them apart), for his new college. Father Jackie Shroff must be beaming somewhere.

15. Why does Rohan jump buildings and fly when there are some decent roads around? Why does he need a cycle then?

16. Where is the other girl?

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17. There she is! Ananya Panday as Shreya.

18. Her legs look like toothpicks! Why can't they give her better clothes?

19. Why are her eyes so wide open?

20. Why is Shreya so mean? Oh wait, this is a KJo movie and she's a rich spoilt brat.

21. Mia doesn't want to be with Rohan anymore? Why am I not surprised?

22. Are we supposed to feel sad for Rohan? Didn't he see this coming?

23. Gul Panag is the sports teacher! Wow, that's a first in Bollywood cinema.

24. And they've made her a lesbian. Kudos, KJo, kudos!

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25. Oooohhhhh, this other guy is so good looking. He's Manav, also happens to be Shreya's brother, most popular guy at St. Teresa and rich spoilt brat number 2.

26. Shreya is so annoying. Why is she aping Alia Bhatt so much? Does she ever blink?

27. Why does this feel like a sparkled up 'Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar'?

28. Why can't the girls wear wearable clothes? Which college allows clothes like these?

29. So Rohan wins a race and Mia now wants to get back with him? Is she stupid?

30. Rohan takes her back. He is stupid.

31. They are now going to a costume party and Rohan wants to go as 'The Flying Jatt'. Nice.

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32. They go as wonder woman and spider man instead. This probably is the only time DCEU and MCU have collaborated.

33. There are people dressed like Krrish out there? Hahaha.

34. Gosh, I can't stand this Ananya Panday and her wide open eyes. Blink, kid, blink!

35. Don't people study in this college? Only dance and sports?

36. Can someone please tap Tiger's acting skills instead of his acrobatics?

37. How is the college allowing this shit?

38. So Shreya's father prefers Manav over her, because he's the son! Talk about forcefully squeezing patriarchy into glam sham.

39. Shreya wants to win the dance competition to prove to her father that she is something. Great! By winning a dance competition, she expects her father to love her. Wow!

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40. Gili Gili Akka is remade? Wait, is that Will Smith? Okay, Point 1 finally is making sense.

41. Mia falls down and loses the dance competition with Rohan. Shreya and Manav win! Wait, why was there a dance competition in the first place?

42. Ooohhh Mia and Manav are now together? She lost on purpose to get Manav to win? Now, where have we seen that before?

43. Why are Manav and Rohan fighting like this? Crazy Karate shit?

44. Rohan is kicked out of college because he's poor and Manav stays on because he's rich. Classy stuff!

45. Din tera tha, saal mera hoga (the day was yours, the year shall be mine). Wow, what a dialogue!

46. Manav to Mia - "I love your small town insecurity". She falls for it.

47. Rohan is back in Pishorilal and wants to win the Dignity Cup at all means. Great, couldn't they have started the movie with this instead?

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48. Why is Rohan training Shreya in dance? On his terrace with the whole town watching!

49. Shreya can't dance. It looks like she's stretching her limbs. She seriously needs to stop over-acting and blink once in a while. She also needs to eat.

50. How are the girls wearing such clothes in Dehradun? Aren't they freezing? That might explain some of their expressions.

51. Shreya wins a local dance competition and her father is now proud of her? Parenting 101, anyone?

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52. Mia now wants Rohan back. Shreya confesses his love for him. Well, I didn't see that one coming!

53. Good mornnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnning, students! Sameer Soni is clearly inspired by Vidya Balan's RJ character from 'Lageraho Munnabhai'.

54. The Dignity Cup competition starts. It is Manav against Rohan all the way! Duh!

55. How can a single guy excel in all the sports?

56. Where are the girls? Are they supposed to stick to dancing alone?

57. Manoj Pahwa is brilliant! What an actor!

58. Rohan scores seven points in the last 30 seconds of a Kabaddi match and wins the Dignity Cup and the title of Student Of The Year. Even though he's not from that college anymore.

59. He then chooses Shreya over Mia. Even thought she calls him duffer throughout the movie. Well, maybe he'll teach her to blink once in a while.

60. The hook-up song with Alia Bhatt as part of the end credits. Did the other two ex-students appear as well? Did I miss it? Sigh, the things one has to do for their mentor.

I should have just read an Archies Double Digest instead.

12 comments:

  1. Once again, the post was so much better than the movie! 😀

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  2. Ha Ha HA- Woman this is seriously a crazy talent of yours. Hats off to your reviewing skills. I was watching the movie frame by frame in my head as I read this.

    I loved Tiger jumping and cavorting around- I mean come on thats why I watched it in the first place - sigh!!!! His abs or rather his B.O.D.Y.!!!!! (apologies for drooling all over your blog Soumz) ;-)

    This movie was plain shit DUMB! They converted the gorgeous F.R.I. into this stupid fancy college which made no sense. And the cups, competitions and the way these were won or lost - YAWN!

    10/10 for the review and not even 1/10 for the movie - no Shroff's hotness aside, I couldnt rate it as a movie at all

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    1. Thank you, Shalz! <3

      I love watching Tiger and his body and all his jumping around, but, he's also a pretty decent actor and someone needs to show that side of him!

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  3. Hahaha Soumya! I love these posts that you do. I have to say that I skipped this movie. I thought it would be pretty mindless. Where do they find such colleges and students? In Bangalore, they have such strict dress codes, no? But your review made me laugh out loud. ��

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    1. Thank you, Rachna. All realistic colleges have a dress code. Even if they don't, people dress up normally.

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  4. haha....I keep waiting for these posts from you. Totally worth it! I watched a part of it one day I kept thinking if you have money you can create shit and then even have a success bash for it!

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    1. Thank you, Naba. Looks like if you have money, you can do anything!

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  5. I don't need to tell you how I look forward to these posts of yours. We watched this one in the theatre thanks to N's insistence and even she came away agreeing the film was rubbish. SOTY1 was just about okay but this one was beyond crazy. There was nothing authentic about it at all, nothing at all. This Puneet Malhotra needs to look out for other career options.

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    1. Hahaha Punit Malhotra does need to look out for other jobs!

      Poor you, having to watch this on the big screen.

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  6. Hahaha! This is downright funny and interesting. I have watched SOTY1 and it was okayish. This one, thanks to your post, I'll not even watch it on TV. :D

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  7. Hehe Point number 35 is what I kept wondering all through. Kaha hote hai ye saare colleges. This movie was such a waste of talent. It felt like they revolved all the scenes around Tiger's fighting skills and his muscular frame. The girls didn't even get a chance to develop their character. SOTY was much better even though I still didn't like it. Both movies too wishy washy.

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