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Bangalore has a new rule now where in even the pillion rider is expected to wear a helmet for safety. Most of us welcomed this rule grudgingly, while I was happy to buy a good quality helmet and wear it when ever Cal and I took a ride. Although it was irritating at first and it ruined my hair, after a couple of days I got used to it. I also figured that a helmet did make me feel safe and was happy about the move made by the government. A helmet safe guards the head and it is always better to be safe than sorry. And it is necessary to have a well fitting helmet that covers the head and the jaw line. And one with an ISI mark too. When I went to purchase a helmet for myself there were a lot of couples out there doing the same. But the helmet that most of them chose for their spouse was a cheap plastic one, that looked like an inverted wok. Their thought was simple and yet very loud. We just need a helmet to avoid being caught by the traffic cops. So it can be any helmet.
Over the past few days I have seen hideous examples of this. The best was a lady who had wrapped a scarf on her head and wore a cap on top of it to pass off as a helmet. I mean, where do we get such genius these days? I have seen most pillion riders wearing cheap helmets that barely cover their head let alone their face and jaw. Why? Isn't a woman's life worthy enough to be protected? Some people think that since the Government has imposed the rule, the Government should provide the helmets too. Isn't a wife/daughter/sister/mother worth a mere 700-1000 bucks? Yes, that's all it takes to buy a branded full cover helmet. I feel so bad when I see women wearing helmets that sit so loose on their heads without any support. A speed break jolt and the helmet is off the head.
In this country, we clearly do not value a woman's life. Acid attacks have become the new "it" thing. How inhumane should one be to commit such a heinous act? A woman's looks, dignity and everything gets melted along with her skin, but does any body realize that? Rape and murders happen like as if it is a natural occurrence. In an instant they are stripped off their life and respect. Women are expected to dress decently without showing any skin and yet are expected to defecate in the open. Women are subjected to a lot of traumas and some of them think twice before giving birth to a female child. Now comes the most important question. Does a woman think that her life is worthy enough? I have now come to believe that there a lot of women who are themselves responsible for the state that they are in today. And I have noticed that more often than not, it is always a woman who tries to put down another woman.
What do you think is the problem here? Are they jealousy issues or just a never ending grudge between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law? I recently heard about a friend who was so badly tortured after her marriage by her husband and in-laws that within a month of marriage she ran away and is now back with her parents. She claims that it was her mother-in-law who troubled her the most. And now, no matter how much of solace her parents try to provide her, her mother always tries to convince her to go back to her husband. What if they kill her out there? Surprisingly, this thought never crosses their minds. But thankfully the girl realizes her worth and decided to do something on her own instead of relying on others. But do other women realize what they are doing to each other?
A young girl with dreams in her eyes comes to another house after marriage only to be treated like shit. And it is a woman who is inflicting this on her. Doesn't she think that a woman deserves to live a life that she wants to. Or doesn't the girl think that her is life is worth fighting for? So many questions and yet no answers. Women, please know that your life is something that is worth living. And if it isn't, you need to fight for it. Do not let anyone take you for granted. Do not let someone compromise on your safety. If he wants to buy you a cheap helmet, put your foot down and ask for a good one. Your head is important too. Hell, yeah!
Oh! I can clearly see you are not happy with the current state of things. With the helmets - I observed that too. It's a sorry state to just save yourself from getting caught by the cops. But at the same time, I also think that the rule is a little vague. What about children? There are no manufacturers even selling helmets in smaller size.
ReplyDeleteRegarding women - Acid attacks, kidnapping, abuse and what not. You remember I had the whole April A to Z on it.
Oh yeah I do recall that! I'm pissed definitely. I did see a few helmets for kids, but I don't think parents wants to waste money buying that.
Delete"Women are subjected to a lot of traumas and some of them think twice before giving birth to a female child."- I am one of those who are too scared to give birth to a female child in India.
ReplyDelete"I have now come to believe that there a lot of women who are themselves responsible for the state that they are in today." - I agree completely. There are too many women who don't want to be empowered. Rather, they prefer to be submissive and weak and dependent.
"And I have noticed that more often than not, it is always a woman who tries to put down another woman." - Ohhh yessss! It is the old-fasioned "aunties" in the building who comment about teenage-girls wearing shorts. Even that Nirbhaya case in Delhi... there's one aunty we're acquainted with here, and she was so quick to put the blame on the victim ("why was she out so late?"... typical nonsense you know)
India, at the moment, is not a safe place to bring up a female child.
Completely agree with everything you have to say. Maybe some women just can't trust themselves with the power.
DeleteMothers in olden days used to tell their ill treated daughters to go back and suffer more for a reason. Because women had no education or were not expected to work or earn. Today parents still continue this trend even though daughters are qualified and earning more than their husbands because divorce is a stigma. It means that the parents dint teach their daughter to let people walk all over her! Fingers are pointed at the girl's parents. Sometimes for freedom, peace of mind and self respect we should take decisions for ourselves and stand up for it. Unfortunately from a very young age we are taught to be dependent and clingy. This should change.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. My heart goes out to such girls who have no support from their mothers even when the girl is clearly struggling. Sadly, the girls don't even think that they can empower themselves.
DeleteYou forgot idiots who keep their helmets in their hands and wear it only when they spot a cop. Itsnot just about the woman's life, its the women themselves who do not take the charge. I mean is it that difficult to shell out 1k for yourself?
ReplyDeleteHahaha those are other specimens altogether. I do agree, some women do not want to change. Maybe they like having someone to blame all the time.
DeleteWomen do come in other women's way, but times are changing, things are changing as well. But I guess it will take hell lot of time to change the mind set of society.
ReplyDeleteWomen who call for divorce, or leave their families because they can't take it anymore, believe me Soumya, I have utmost respect for them. My heart goes with them and I completely support them for they have decided and further want to do. At least, they hold the courage to take their stand rather than suffering in that rotten relationship.
We need more women like this Geet.
DeleteThe problem here is , i don't understand what the post is all about. Is it about Safety or gender equality . Well in this case the pillion rider can be any one, a man or a women. Recently when i went to buy a helmet for my mom , i opted for a good one, where as i observed a girl was buying for her younger bro who had come along with her and it was a good looking one but without ISI mark and quality was not that good, so u see gender equality issue does not arise here. And moreover for my dad also i would have brought the same one (Good quality).
ReplyDeleteI just gave the other side of the picture.
I get the picture.
DeleteI do understand that the post might be confusing as well. I agree the pillion can be a male or a female. But I have only brought out a woman's point of view here as this is what I have been seeing around the most. And then I have linked the safety to gender equality.
I think all two-wheeler owners should be given a license only if they have a helmet - both the one riding and the one sitting pillion. Bah! I am thinking with disgust about those families of 5 that fit on a scooter.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah those are something else altogether. At times they even have a pet squished between them.
DeleteI will happily wear a helmet. It protects from your accident and sun tan. I don't know why people don't try to see the benefits in such situations.
ReplyDeleteHahaha I agree!
DeleteHey Soumya, you've raised very fair points on the way a woman is treated in society and it's so sad. It's high time for us to take small steps in treated a woman as our equal. Be the change.
ReplyDeleteThank you Vishal.
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