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Who's The Boss?

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Remember how this ad created such a furor in our country, where a woman is shown to be the boss while her husband is her subordinate. A lot was spoken and many people trashed this ad by calling the woman different terms. Yesterday's newspaper spoke about how being a housewife is such a thankless job. A certain court even ruled that the monthly salary for a housewife is equivalent to around Rs. 5000. Five thousand for an entire day's work for thirty days? Talk about being frugal. Rs. 5000 is something that youngsters spend in a weekend now. Be it at a party or shopping. Rs. 5000 doesn't guarantee a stay in a decent place. When was the last time you heard about a one BHK being available for rent at Rs. 5000? Yes, never! Rs. 5000 is something a woman spends just for an hour's session at the parlor for waxing, a facial and a haircut. And this is expected to be the salary of a home maker? A slow salute to that judge who declared this.

If a woman is not allowed to be the boss, then who is? How do you define the term boss? A boss is someone who is the master of all trades and knows how to get work done. A woman wakes up in the morning, cooks breakfast and lunch, cleans the house, washes the vessels, irons your clothes, packs your lunch and sends you off to to work. If she has children then an extra routine of dressing up the kid is added. Once everyone has left the house, she has to clean up again for all the mess left behind. Then she goes to wash her clothes as well as that of the family. Then she has to look into the bills and check if everything is sorted out. Else, you would obviously come back to blame her for missing something. And if someone is ill in the house she is expected to be the nurse and take care of them until they are back on their feet. She is also expected to go shopping for vegetables, cook gourmet food, please her in-laws and husband and everything else. Considering the fact that she does every chore in the house and excels at it, isn't she already the boss? Infact she is much more than a boss as a boss is expected to get things done. But a woman does all the things herself and that too without complaining. If she is a working lady, then she should be called a superwoman and not the boss.

Take the simple chore of laundry for example. A woman washes the clothes of all the family members, no matter how soiled the clothes are. Be it mud soaked shorts of a toddler, an ink stained shirt of a teen or a T-shirt reeking of sweat of an adult. A woman is the default washing machine of the house and is expected to be spic and span in the work she does. She uses her own hands to pick those soiled clothes, soak them in water and soap, scrub every garment individually, rinse it three times, soak it in some good smelling fabric conditioner and then hang it out in the sun to dry. And more often than not in almost every house, the underwear of men is washed by the woman of the house too. And I'm not even going to explain how disgusting this is. By the time the woman is done with all her washing, her hands would resemble prunes and her legs would give way. Some of you might argue that no one manually washes clothes these days, but uses a washing machine. Even then, the clothes don't miraculously go into the machine by themselves and come out clean and dry. The clothes have to be separated, colors much be washed separately, the cuffs and collars must be hand scrubbed, the washing powder has to be manually added and the machine has to be switched on. And only a woman knows the various settings of a washing machine and how different types of clothes need different settings. No washing machine in the world dries the clothes one hundred percent. It has to be hung out in the sun to dry. And a woman has to do it. Once the clothes are dry, who collects them, irons them and stacks them up in your closet? Oh yes, it is a woman indeed.

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Now, let me get the basics right. A man has two hands and two legs as well. Meaning, he is capable of picking his own clothes and washing them, or is capable enough to walk up to the washing machine and put it in. Men are blessed with two eyes as well right, so they can read the instructions on how to use a washing machine. And if they have even half a brain, they can use logic and get the machine to work. But do you think they do that? Apparently, 76% of Indian men feel that laundry is a woman's job and 77% of them always depend on a woman to do their laundry. Be it their mother or their wife. I seriously feel like applauding such men. They have 100% crossed the line of audacity. A woman has a soft heart and hence she doesn't expect the man to do his chores. All she wants is a little assistance in the household work. Two out of three men prefer to watch TV instead of doing laundry, while more than 70% of women feel that a man chooses to relax over helping with the household chores. Isn't the inequality clear here? So tell me why shouldn't a woman be called the boss?

Dear men, if you want to be treated like the boss then please make sure you work your way up there. We women understand that you have a lot of work at office, but remember that even your boss at work was once a subordinate. And when it comes to household work, you are still a novice. You need to start from scratch and slowly work your way up, in order to be called or treated like a boss. Just because you bring in the money, doesn't automatically make you the boss. The woman brings in the money and manages the house too, so why shouldn't she be called the boss? At work you are always trying to make an impression on your boss, by working a little extra or by taking in other work. And that too for just a few extra bucks. Why not do the same thing at home and earn the respect and love of your mother or wife? It is not that hard. All you need to do is assist your mother or wife in the work they do. The least you can do is to do your own laundry. Making a woman do your work doesn't make you the boss. To be a boss you need to have undergone the experience that you are expecting out of the other person. Since, you have zero experience in it, you are nowhere close to it.

So now tell me, who is the boss?

I am writing for #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob activity at in association with Ariel.


  1. If you care to wear clothes you might as well dare to wash them!!! And it is not only about clothes, the dishes and other house hold chores too. Why do the women always have to do the cleaning up of every one's mess?! A strong message in this post :)

  2. Wow... What an article dear.. Loved it to the core...
    I just had my first hand experience at this laundering-issue..

    Got married recently, and I got a shock when my MIL told me, "My son doesn't know about clothes, you take care of them, when to get them washed, when to iron. You take out his clothes daily, he doesn't care about them a bit."

    That was a shocker..Are you kidding me?? I had never looked after my clothes, now look for two.. And that too when I work at least equally, if not more than him. I leave for my office when he is still sleeping (which according to me is the biggest work(punishment) ever).

    Though I don't cook and do all these household work, but still manage to get it done.. And managing things is being a good Boss..;) )

    1. Oh you should have given your MIL a piece of your mind.

      I agree we woman have it hard, but if you have an understanding partner it is worth it :)

  3. Laundry can be a shared chore. That's it. True, it cant be pinned on a woman.

  4. The problem lies in the men not caring, not caring how the household is running, they don't even realize that it's because of the woman of the house that they are able to watch their favorite game with legs crossed. Only when there is something wrong, do they realize that the woman is the one who's doing it! Otherwise, we might as well be machines for them. Disgusting!

    1. I know, such men should be hit where it hurts the most.

  5. I liked the idea of self service laundry

  6. I know of houses where people don't buy a washing machine even if they can afford it. Reason? The woman does the laundry so why buy a machine! In most places a woman is more of a machine than a human being. Her value is only understood when she isn't functioning well and someone else has to do it.
    Women should take a stand and change the game. Let the teenager know the pains of washing his t-shirt which he has so carelessly soiled while playing. Let the husband distinguish one color from the other and wash the cuffs and collars. Doing laundry would be so much easier if everyone participated!

  7. I have completely opposing views to this. One - regarding salary to wife - This is feminist propaganda and they wanted this. The law they wanted to enact was 20% of husband's salary should automatically go to wife even without considering her contribution. You spoke about a lot of responsibilities, yes my mother has taken care of all of them without fail. But she is not all, today women have domestic helps and electrical gadgets to help them. So the point that women are doing all these is wrong.

    If I only stick to the laundry, with washing machines in place it should not be an issue. Brands create such campaigns because they want to make money. Bloggers who write they just create disturbance in their own life and that in future generations' as well.

    If women think doing household work is inequality when they are not legally bound to do anything and any such work may be considered as domestic violence, then those women should not get married in first place. Men are legally bound to be provider and protector of the family but women are not legally bound to do household work or any work for that matter. Then what is her responsibility?

    The examples that you have given are all valid for some women who do them, but that does not make them responsible for those works. They can not be punished for not doing any of those. So the whole debate of women having a lot of responsibility is false. There is in fact NO responsibility.

    1. No responsibility? Wow.

      If woman are not legally bound, then why is she expected to do the household work? And men are NOT legally bound to be the protector of the family. Women can do that too.

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