I have always been a quick learner and love to be busy. I'm a workaholic and am usually neck deep in work leaving me really little time for anything else. As much as I am a master of multi-tasking, at times I do fall short some where. Over the past few months I have been so busy that I have had no time to pursue any of my passions. Be it reading, writing, painting or baking. Since we moved into a new place of our own, almost all of my free time goes in taking care of the household chores and cooking. It was tiring to the core even to wake up in the morning and do basic chores. My mood swings were all over the place and I used to snap frequently at my husband. I clearly was missing all my passions and my daily life. It happens you know, when your adventurous life is suddenly pushed to extremes of monotony. I tried my best to keep my cool and take one thing at a time, but it was not working well.
I was breaking down and found it difficult to concentrate on one thing. No, not the depression kinds. Just a few bouts of anger and frustration combined drastically with stress and tiredness. I had to speak out to someone and let them know what I was going through. There was only one person who came to my mind. My best friend, my lover and my soul mate; my husband. So one weekend, I pushed away work and sat down and spoke to him about all that was going through in my mind. He patiently listened and told me that he wanted to talk to me about the same too. As he was just not used to seeing his wife like this. So busy, detached, angry and out of mood. He held my hand and spoke to me and helped me unload the weight of my head. Just talking to him made me feel so refreshed and recharged.
From then on, things started changing within me. My husband did not let me do any work and made me spend some time with myself. He took it upon himself to take care of the household chores. The funny part was that he always was around to help me, but since I was so caught up in work I did not look up to notice. All I could do was to find faults in what was done and how it was not done the way I wanted it to be done. Once I got sometime for myself, I began thinking a lot about the past few months and how I made such a big deal of what I was feeling. I had all the time in the world to do my things, but instead I chose to do everything at once and crib and complain. My husband had stood by me through everything back then without complaining. And here he is by my side, guiding me effortlessly to peace out. While he handled the chores, I read and wrote. It gave me immense peace and I felt creatively charged again. The past few months I had been doubting myself, thinking if I was a good wife or a good team player because I was messed up in the head with a lot of things.
The doubts I had in my mind had slowed me down as a person. I had given up on myself, with all the pressures around. But my husband came to my rescue and brought back the old me ahead. He gave me enough space and time to figure things out for myself. Having that little extra time for myself made me pursue my passions again and I finally began smiling more often. We cooked and baked together. We played scrabble to unwind and did not carry work home. We spent quality time together by exploring new places and food. I even took some time out for myself to meet my friends, get a massage and unwind. My inner glow was coming back again and I felt happy and pretty on the outside. I realised that I was a nice person and a good wife. I only had to let go of the self doubt that was plaguing me from within. My husband made me realize that and that made me a much better person. And I'm so proud of him for putting up with the cranky me and helping me get out of the shell that I had created for myself.
He encouraged me in every walk of life. To read, to write, to bake and everything else that I was interested in. He helped me multitask and assisted me in everything I do. He helped me unwind in more ways that one that I marched so ahead that I could not even see a glimpse of the stress that was bogging me down until now. Everything around was beautiful, and he helped me see it. He made me believe in me again, making me feel like that independent, self-reliant lady that I always was. And he did it so easily, without any preaching. It was love that helped us get past all this. Love always wins. Always. I am proud to be his wife and he is the pride of my life.
This post is written as an entry for Indi Happy Hours - Apno Ko Apne Dum Pe Jeena Sikhao activity in association with Indiblogger and HDFC Life.