M: Marriage

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He is the apple of my eye. The man whom I love the most in the world. He is the one who I live for and who makes life worth living. He is the one for whom I will do anything. He is the one for whom I shall die or kill. He is my strength and my weakness. He is the only one that matters in the world to me. I give him the biggest piece of cake and the unburnt toast. I give him the rounder chapati and the juiciest part of the fruit. I make food that he loves at any given time of the day. He is the the most important part of me. He is my husband and I love him. But I do not worship him.

He is the man of the house and I am the lady of the house. He is no king and I am no queen. Together we both make a home and we are together in everything. He talks, I talk. He listens, I listen. He doesn't help me in doing the chores. There is nothing called my chores or his chores in our relationship. We do all our chores together. More than love, it is the respect that holds us together. He is not the husband who wants his wife to do the chores for him, sleep with him, and have no other meaning in his life. He doesn't want a wife, he wants a partner and that is what I am to him. I work as much as he does and together we make a good amount of money. Together. Not his money or not my money. We handle the expenses together and we take decisions together. He is just the way he was when we fell in love and I am exactly the same too.

They say you should change once you are married. I do not understand why. We fell in love for a reason and got married for the same reason. That's it. I did not marry him to wash his clothes or the vessels of the house. I married him to share a life together and that is exactly what we are doing. Love, mutual respect, understanding and a sense of humor are the most important things in our marriage. Along with time and goofiness. Just because you are married now doesn't mean that you cannot goof around. We both enjoy our insanity and go crazy over it. We live in our own world and we have had no problems at all. Within us atleast. It is always the people around who have tried to create problems for us. Luckily we both are mature enough to not let it bother us.

When they say that a marriage is between two families and not two people, it is utter bullshit. A wedding is between two families as they need to talk and share the expense of the functions and everything else that is associated with it. I am totally against the idea of the girl's side bearing the entire cost of the wedding. I was very clear with my folks that I did not want them to spend for everything. I had even told the same to the man I was marrying and he respected me for it. The wedding is what happened two years ago, where there were four thousand people and only around fifty people that we actually cared about. The wedding was the perfect platform to show the society how much money our families could spend. We are still paying off the debts that we took for the wedding. You cannot show off with fake money, right?

A wedding is what happened to conform to the norms of society. The wedding was the day we spent hours on rituals that we had no clue about to culminate our love. The wedding was the day when people thronged the venue to see the grand spectacle that our loans had to offer. The wedding was the day where everything poked us and the only thing that we cared about was being with each other. The wedding was the day when we were drop dead tired and the only thing that kept us going was our sense of humor. The wedding was the day when two families tried to show the world that they were one. For me, the wedding was the day my lover was christened my husband. And nothing more.

A marriage is something that we both share everyday. It is sacred and is just within the two of us. Everything else and every one else do not matter.

He laughs, I laugh. He smiles, I smile. He breathes, I breathe.

Love continues to win.

Linking to the A to Z Challenge.

40 comments:

  1. You couldn't have said it more perfectly. I have mentioned the same thing in my post too. A wedding is just for a day and a marriage for a lifetime.

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  2. love the line - a marriage is something we both share everyday!! Great write-up Soumya.
    Cheers, Archana - www.drishti.co

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  3. I absolutely loved the distinction you described between marriage and wedding. Brilliantly written.

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  4. Blessed are we to have found the one that we want to live our entire life with, to grow old with, to share our happiness and sorrow with. Good post. You have expertly summarized what it takes to have a successful and contented marriage

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    Replies
    1. Blessed is what I feel everyday! Thanks Prasanna!

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  5. Brilliantly penned. Loved the last two lines especially. May love win always.

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  6. Well said. A wedding is for a day while a marriage is something that we share for a lifetime! Loved this post, Soumya, very well articulated :)

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  7. For the first time someone gave answers to my hungry lil question "why should we get married?". Soumya, you solved the strangest and head-banging trouble of my life. But that again raises another question "how many people marry for sake of love and give respect to each other?" And why do I have a feeling that you and your perfect husband just walked out of some fairy tale? No kidding. I seriously feel so.
    And most importantly, if a man asks like why will I marry you if you can't wash my clothes and cook at my house, should you marry that guy? #justCurious

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    1. I'm glad :)

      If he asks that, ask him to get a maid instead of a wife.

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  8. I knew this was coming! I saw an old pic of the two of you on FB and this post is so synchronous with that pic! why didn't you put that pic here? (u know which one , na?)

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    1. Ah ha, thanks Titli! Oh yeah, why didn't I?

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  9. Hubby and I have made it through 42 years of happy marriage.

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    1. Woaahhh awesome! Couples like you are an inspiration to us :)

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  10. What a wonderful relationship you call marriage you have Soumya by the sounds of it! :) To have a wedding of 4,000 or more is ridiculous, especially when you are still paying for it! However, I am glad you see your husband as your "partner." I love the qualities you mention including "goofiness" as I think it's important to have fun too. I am truly happy for you! :) <3

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  11. Nice take on marriage and wedding, Soumya !

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  12. Lovely post on Marriage Soumya :)
    You are welcome to check my a-z posts here: http://sundarivenkatraman.blogspot.in/

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  13. Wise words. Enjoyed your post :)
    A to Z blogger

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  14. There is a sense of calmness in this post. I don't know why I say this but there just is. Just a few words for this post Soumya - Stay Blessed. May both of you stay in love always. <3 <3

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  15. This is the best thing I read today. Loved it!
    You are so very right. A wedding maybe between 2 families, but a marriage is only between the two people.
    *Shantala @ ShanayaTales*

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  16. For someone like me who is considering marriage and its pros and cons, this post of yours gave a really clear picture. :)

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  17. The "performance" of a wedding has always put me off marriage - or maybe I'm just not the marrying kind! But the words you use to describe the relationship you have with your husband - that's when you know its right. Much love and continuing happiness to you.

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