Guardian Angel


She guarded the closed door like a hawk, fearing that he would come in to harm them because from the day they were born, he hated them, without bothering to look at them even once. She knew it was an unexpected pregnancy, and the twins were least expected, but they were his own blood and flesh and how could he abhor them? 

He sat at the other side of the door, tears in his eyes crying for his beloved wife, who now hated and feared the sight of him. She had lost her mind, ever since she suffered from a miscarriage and lost their twins five months ago. Her imaginary world was ruining his real life, but how could he leave her when she needed him the most?

This five sentence fiction is written for the topic 'Doors' at Lillie McFerrin Writes.

48 comments:

  1. reading the second para gave me goosebumps!! superb narration!

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  2. A well staged and succinct story in only five sentences, very well put!

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  3. I could imagine the man sitting behind that door and crying.. well written.

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  4. Brilliant!! Out of the world!! One hell of a plot!! Simply put, loved it. :D

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  5. :O
    Totally unexpected! *Applauds*

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  6. Loved it :) I can feel his pain... Beautifully written, Soumya :)

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  7. Wow.. woman that was totally unexpected.. Super :)

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  8. I really love your fiction works :)

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    1. Thank you Pankti, it was wonderful meeting you! :)

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  9. This was a very powerful piece :)

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  10. Oh my gosh! You really had me with your second paragraph. Such an emotive, painful story. x

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    1. Thank you Lizzie. I'm glad you liked it!

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  11. This was chilling .... you are too good with micro-fictions.

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    1. Coming from you, I am honored. Thank you :)

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  12. Best one I've read yet.....I could see both sides so clearly. Tears for them both... VERY well done!!

    D.B. McNicol
    Romance & Mystery...writing my life

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    1. Thank you Donna for this wonderful comment! :)

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  13. Touching and too emotional.. some mistakes are far from remorse ..:(
    priya raj- http://pencilstripes.blogspot.com/2014/05/being-mother-is-attitude.html

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  14. Replies
    1. Might lead to a happy ending sometime later!

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  15. thats is so sad .. i wish and hope things chnage for them both

    Bikram

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  16. Oh good lord, loved this take on the prompt!

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  17. Gave me goosebumps, Soumya! Brilliant narration.. I could picture everything you have written!

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  18. Great use of the prompt. Left me wanting to know more.

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  19. Great use of the prompt. Left me wanting more.

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