She guarded the closed door like a hawk, fearing that he would come in to harm them because from the day they were born, he hated them, without bothering to look at them even once. She knew it was an unexpected pregnancy, and the twins were least expected, but they were his own blood and flesh and how could he abhor them?
He sat at the other side of the door, tears in his eyes crying for his beloved wife, who now hated and feared the sight of him. She had lost her mind, ever since she suffered from a miscarriage and lost their twins five months ago. Her imaginary world was ruining his real life, but how could he leave her when she needed him the most?
This five sentence fiction is written for the topic 'Doors' at Lillie McFerrin Writes.
reading the second para gave me goosebumps!! superb narration!
ReplyDeleteA well staged and succinct story in only five sentences, very well put!
ReplyDeleteThank you Lisa!
DeleteI could imagine the man sitting behind that door and crying.. well written.
ReplyDeleteThank you Nisha!
DeleteBrilliant!! Out of the world!! One hell of a plot!! Simply put, loved it. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Anu! :)
Delete:O
ReplyDeleteTotally unexpected! *Applauds*
Loved it :) I can feel his pain... Beautifully written, Soumya :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Aathira! :)
DeleteWow.. woman that was totally unexpected.. Super :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jyo! :)
DeleteI really love your fiction works :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Pankti, it was wonderful meeting you! :)
DeleteThis was a very powerful piece :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Red! :)
DeleteOh my gosh! You really had me with your second paragraph. Such an emotive, painful story. x
ReplyDeleteThank you Lizzie. I'm glad you liked it!
DeleteThis was chilling .... you are too good with micro-fictions.
ReplyDeleteComing from you, I am honored. Thank you :)
DeleteBest one I've read yet.....I could see both sides so clearly. Tears for them both... VERY well done!!
ReplyDeleteD.B. McNicol
Romance & Mystery...writing my life
Thank you Donna for this wonderful comment! :)
DeleteTouching and too emotional.. some mistakes are far from remorse ..:(
ReplyDeletepriya raj- http://pencilstripes.blogspot.com/2014/05/being-mother-is-attitude.html
Good one, Soumya!
ReplyDeleteThank you Anita!
DeleteThat is just sad. :(
ReplyDeleteMight lead to a happy ending sometime later!
Deletethats is so sad .. i wish and hope things chnage for them both
ReplyDeleteBikram
I hope so too!
DeleteOh good lord, loved this take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteGave me goosebumps, Soumya! Brilliant narration.. I could picture everything you have written!
ReplyDeleteThe End. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWOW!!
ReplyDeleteJust amazing.
Thanks darling! :)
DeleteWOW.
ReplyDeleteJust WOW! :*
:*
DeleteGreat use of the prompt. Left me wanting to know more.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteGreat use of the prompt. Left me wanting more.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteOw! :/
ReplyDeleteThis was too sad. :(
:(
Delete