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Anchor

(Copyright – Erin Leary)

He had stood by my side as an anchor, helping me sail through everything, after I had lost my parents. I knew he loved me, but life had handed me so much bitterness that I was not willing to give in to his love, I was scared, of closeness. I did not say anything, when he decided to leave. I still yearn for his presence at times, but I know there is nothing I can do about it. I stand at this fence every evening, having nothing to offer, yet my eyes crave to catch a glimpse of him someday.

This five sentence fiction is written for the topic 'Anchor' at Lillie McFerrin Writes.

This drabble (100 word fiction) is written for Friday Fictioneers, 23th May.

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Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 23, 2014 at 8:30 PM

    There's nothing worse than being a victim of one's own making. Very well-done and descriptive story!

    One small suggestion, though, on a technical level. You don't really need all those commas. Try it this way --- " I knew he loved me but life had handed me so much bitterness that I was not willing to give in to his love. I was scared of closeness. He decided to leave and I did not say anything." Think in short declarative sentences and you're home free. The "punches" will become knock-outs! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SoumyaMay 26, 2014 at 2:34 PM

      Thank you for your wonderful suggestion. I promise to work on it! :)

      Delete
  2. PRATIK KIRVEMay 23, 2014 at 9:08 PM

    Touching story!!

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  3. Donna BurmanMay 23, 2014 at 9:20 PM

    We are but victims of the walls we put up around us..

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  4. Midnight scribblesMay 23, 2014 at 9:32 PM

    Oh good lord, reminded me of a certain something. Lovely write up babe

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  5. kalpana solsiMay 23, 2014 at 9:38 PM

    Hopes he comes back and receives the love that is due to him.

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  6. AnonymousMay 23, 2014 at 10:41 PM

    Well done on combining the two prompts. The pain and loss of your narrator is clear. It's a pity she didn't speak out when she had the chance.

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  7. AathiraMay 23, 2014 at 11:01 PM

    Hope life gives her a second chance :( Loved it Soumya.

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  8. Anita SabatMay 24, 2014 at 12:41 AM

    Oh! Hope is there. May her love return soon... Nice one, Soumya :)

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  9. AnonymousMay 24, 2014 at 4:12 AM

    Sad but happens quite often I'm sure...

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  10. Swathi ShenoyMay 24, 2014 at 8:52 AM

    afraid to love due to fear of losing.. hmmm this reminded me of something too!! been there done that.. good one soumya

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  11. NishaMay 24, 2014 at 1:35 PM

    There is a lot of pain in this one. The fear of losing is actually the worst fear of all...

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  12. Red HandedMay 24, 2014 at 4:35 PM

    SIGH! What can I say. She took the wrong choice because of her painful past. Good one Leo!

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  13. SoniaMay 24, 2014 at 5:47 PM

    Painful yet beautiful!

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  14. brudbergMay 24, 2014 at 7:28 PM

    Waiting can be as painful as anything else.. Love is also about timing.

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  15. VinatiMay 24, 2014 at 7:46 PM

    Poignant.

    And you are so talented. :*

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  16. UnknownMay 24, 2014 at 10:38 PM

    A victim of her own making but still extremely sad and painful. I really enjoyed reading it. x

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  17. Jyotsna BhatiaMay 25, 2014 at 3:15 PM

    Sigh! The weight of waiting for someone can be crushing :(

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  18. Sushree DashMay 25, 2014 at 5:49 PM

    Touchy ....though a bit sad but there's some kind of beauty hidden in it .....

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  19. AnonymousMay 25, 2014 at 6:28 PM

    So very bittersweet, and so true to life. Beautifully written.
    Here is my offering: http://mcguffysreader.blogspot.com/2014/05/brother.html

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  20. Amrit SinhaMay 26, 2014 at 8:22 PM

    Waiting is tough, especially when it's for an indefinite period of time ... very beautifully written.

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  21. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsMay 27, 2014 at 5:15 AM

    Dear Soumya,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. A bittersweet story of love lost. I agree with Kent on your commas. Less is more. ;)

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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    Replies
    1. SoumyaMay 27, 2014 at 3:18 PM

      Thank you Rochelle! I agree and will work on it now :)

      Delete
  22. P.S. JoshiMay 27, 2014 at 10:08 AM

    Soumya, Lovely story but sad. Let's hope she's able to take down that wall before it's too late. Well written. : ) ---Susan

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  23. KeirthanaMay 27, 2014 at 11:59 AM

    It really makes a good vignette too :) The pic is beautiful and the words even more.

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  24. Sreeja PraveenMay 28, 2014 at 4:31 PM

    Oh :( The pathos :(
    She could've spoken out when she had the chance.... and now the endless wait ! Hope she gets him back soon !

    ReplyDelete

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