Anchor

(Copyright – Erin Leary)

He had stood by my side as an anchor, helping me sail through everything, after I had lost my parents. I knew he loved me, but life had handed me so much bitterness that I was not willing to give in to his love, I was scared, of closeness. I did not say anything, when he decided to leave. I still yearn for his presence at times, but I know there is nothing I can do about it. I stand at this fence every evening, having nothing to offer, yet my eyes crave to catch a glimpse of him someday.

This five sentence fiction is written for the topic 'Anchor' at Lillie McFerrin Writes.

This drabble (100 word fiction) is written for Friday Fictioneers, 23th May.

48 comments:

  1. There's nothing worse than being a victim of one's own making. Very well-done and descriptive story!

    One small suggestion, though, on a technical level. You don't really need all those commas. Try it this way --- " I knew he loved me but life had handed me so much bitterness that I was not willing to give in to his love. I was scared of closeness. He decided to leave and I did not say anything." Think in short declarative sentences and you're home free. The "punches" will become knock-outs! :)

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    1. Thank you for your wonderful suggestion. I promise to work on it! :)

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  2. We are but victims of the walls we put up around us..

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  3. Oh good lord, reminded me of a certain something. Lovely write up babe

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  4. Hopes he comes back and receives the love that is due to him.

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  5. Well done on combining the two prompts. The pain and loss of your narrator is clear. It's a pity she didn't speak out when she had the chance.

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  6. Hope life gives her a second chance :( Loved it Soumya.

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    1. That's the hope. Thank you Aathira :)

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  7. Oh! Hope is there. May her love return soon... Nice one, Soumya :)

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  8. Sad but happens quite often I'm sure...

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    1. Very often infact. Its really sad.

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  9. afraid to love due to fear of losing.. hmmm this reminded me of something too!! been there done that.. good one soumya

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  10. There is a lot of pain in this one. The fear of losing is actually the worst fear of all...

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  11. SIGH! What can I say. She took the wrong choice because of her painful past. Good one Leo!

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  12. Waiting can be as painful as anything else.. Love is also about timing.

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  13. Poignant.

    And you are so talented. :*

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  14. A victim of her own making but still extremely sad and painful. I really enjoyed reading it. x

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  15. Sigh! The weight of waiting for someone can be crushing :(

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  16. Touchy ....though a bit sad but there's some kind of beauty hidden in it .....

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  17. So very bittersweet, and so true to life. Beautifully written.
    Here is my offering: http://mcguffysreader.blogspot.com/2014/05/brother.html

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  18. Waiting is tough, especially when it's for an indefinite period of time ... very beautifully written.

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  19. Dear Soumya,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. A bittersweet story of love lost. I agree with Kent on your commas. Less is more. ;)

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thank you Rochelle! I agree and will work on it now :)

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  20. Soumya, Lovely story but sad. Let's hope she's able to take down that wall before it's too late. Well written. : ) ---Susan

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  21. It really makes a good vignette too :) The pic is beautiful and the words even more.

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  22. Oh :( The pathos :(
    She could've spoken out when she had the chance.... and now the endless wait ! Hope she gets him back soon !

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