Holy Grail


I wrote a lot of posts in April for the A to Z challenge. People accepted and appreciated all my posts and I felt wonderful. However, what baffles me is that of all the posts that I wrote in the last month the most popular has been the 'V-Virginity' one. It has had the highest number of page views, since I wrote it, around twenty days ago. The best part is, I wrote a lot of posts after and before it, but none got as popular as this one. I am even scared to think of what was the search term some people used to get to this post of mine. Since majority of my audience are from India, I am not surprised that this post got the maximum number of hits. I did not even make a big fuss of it until Cal pointed it out to me one day. Yeah, the holy grail had won over the audience. Nonsense.

If you live in Bangalore and subscribe to Bangalore Mirror, you definitely would have noticed a column called 'Sexpert' appearing in this newspaper everyday. More than ninety percent of the queries written to the sexual expert out there, are asking him for techniques to test the virginity of a girl. Mostly their partner, whom I assume they must love. Just an assumption though. One guy even once wrote that his girlfriend bled during their first "act" but did not bleed enough. He was worried and almost depressed due to it, hence he decided to take the suggestion of an expert to solve his earth shattering dilemma. Another guy who was soon to be married, wanted to know what positions needs to be used, to check if his wife was a virgin or not on their first night. Another wanted to check her virginity without having her undressed and was asking for suggestions. Wow, the poor genius. I pity the expert who has to answer such questions on a daily basis. Also, I cannot help but doubt that there is a single pervert/ maniac out there who sits and asks questions using different names. I appreciate his dedication.


Indians are really ignorant when it comes to sex, we know. The number of sites out there which offer "package" enlargement is proof enough. I know a lot of men personally who have visited call girls with their first salary and continue to do so with every pay. Some men have their hot girlfriends and sleep around like there is no tomorrow, boasting of their conquests on their boys night out. A year or two later, these men ask their parents to find them a suitable, pristine, small town virginal beauty to be their life partners. And if that lady, by chance, doesn't bleed on her wedding night, then hell breaks loose. Suddenly the woman he chose to be his wife turns into a whore overnight. Just because she did not bleed. That single bit of fleshy tissue is considered to be the holy grail of life long love and relationships. Seriously, how ignorant are we?

There are some women who write into magazines and news papers asking for a hymen reconstruction surgery. Apparently this surgery comes at a high cost. What is the use, when it is going to be ruptured again? Some women are willing to shell out their whole bank balance just to erase the doubt from their partners minds. And their men, happily enjoy the prick and live the rest of their lives considering themselves to be the opening batsmen who scored a century on their not so debut match. Its as sad as it is funny. The hymen can tear due to various activities. Exercise, yoga, cycling etc. And yet, the logic for some men remains the same. The men and women I have mentioned above are highly educated, mind you.


And then came the magic concoction of all. The wonder cream '18 Again'. Suddenly there was this huge hype and posters all around the city, asking a woman to use it and feel like a teenager again. This cream apparently helps to tighten the vaginal muscles and make the area fair. This was once displayed at my local chemist store. I checked it, out of curiosity. It costs like three thousand bucks. I am sure they did pretty well with their sales, since I saw the disappearing boxes on the shelf. This magical serum came into existence around two years ago. I wonder what it is up to now. I don't see the posters anywhere. Did the Indians finally realize that the holy grail does not matter anymore, or there is no other woman left to get "tight" anymore?

It is 2014 now and people still are worried about the partners virginity. Men have an upper hand because they are not blessed with a tissue that is the only way for proving thou pureness. I did not have an arranged marriage, thankfully, but I hear from friends going through the girl screening process that well educated NRI men ask the girl if she is a virgin or not. Its really sad that prospective happy relationships are ruined due to something that hardly matters. Or does it? Who is to blame here?


37 comments:

  1. Somehow, Indians, especially the men seems to be obsessed about the whole big V deal! A thought provoking post :)

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  2. Doesn't experience make us better at a task? All this should be the other way round! #justWondering

    Indian men do have double standards since most of them have been raised as superior human beings. Times are changing though. But we still have a long way to go.

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    1. Hahaha I totally agree! :D

      Looooong way to go, yet.

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  3. A bold post that voices a serious issue plaguing Indian society.. Kudos!!

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  4. Absolutely right! I hate the double standards! Great post!

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  5. What an amazing post you've written Soumya..
    And everything that you've mentioned is so true..
    I guess the problem is with girls only.. why they want to prove these men right by letting them believe that they're the opening batsmen?? :P
    By doing this, they there making this stereotype even more strong!

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    1. I agree. Most women bring it upon themselves.

      Thank you! :)

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  6. Today in what is euphemistically known as "the west" virginity is no longer the big deal it was when I was a girl. Thank goodness.

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    1. Exactly why it is known as "the west". Still considered a taboo in India.

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  7. It makes me sick to even acknowledge that such men still exist. For all the losers out there, I will tell one thing. It's absolutely possible for a girl to be a virgin with intact hymen and all and yet not bleed. It is not a mandate that when the hymen goes off, it will bleed. Although they can feel it going bust. And the fact that these guys want that little piece of tissue to ensure that they got the right girl in itself makes them unworthy of being with a woman. For such guys, I can only give one message - "You are pathetic losers who don't deserve to be with any woman of that matter."

    Did they even think about the call girl who is not a virgin before they slept with her? Do they even think about that given a life choice, she might want to be someone else's virgin wife? Man, these guys are sick!

    I am so angry :-x

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    1. You go girl! I'm so proud of you for voicing out your opinions here!

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  8. I blame the women who spend money to reconstruct the hymen. Who are they trying to impress and for what reason? Because if she feels her man should be convinced then that man is not worth it !
    True post from top to bottom and well written!!
    Sorry but I loved the 'opening batsman' part...I will never see cricket the same way again :D

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    1. A lot of women want to prove their holiness to women. For reasons best known to them.

      Thank you so much! :D

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  9. I know of a girl whose husband Googled why she didn't bleed during their first act together. I was fuming while she told me this nonchalantly. I don't know who was at a greater fault, the guy or the girl for not raising her voice against such a thing!

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    1. Seriously? I would have killed him If I was her! Why didn't she raise her voice?

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  10. Sad that such conceptions exist... Virgins may not bleed & those who do may not be virgins!
    Truth is stranger than fiction. Apt points here, Soumya.

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    1. I totally agree with you Anita. Its a sad country that we live in.

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  11. bwhahahaha about the opening batsman statement. The 18 again cream advetisement itself baffled me!!
    SIGH!! When virginity is now nothing but a tissue that can boost a man's ego.

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    1. When will men understand that! Sigh!

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  12. no women left to get tight anymore..gosh i would die laughing :D it's sad and i know few friends who spent half of their lives worrying if their future husbands would know that they aren't virgin

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  13. just love you for this post, Soumya! the batsman wala thing - AWESOME !!! Sadly,this is a yet another example of our great hypocritical Indian society. Sigh !

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  14. I am still laughing!! :) :) yep..that's the next big thing after getting a fair and lovely bride......!

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  15. I had this interesting encounter once. We were on a trip and I was sitting beside the driver and he got chatty. He started telling me about how he once worked as a driver to an actress and how he took her around to all these pubs and stuff. Then he started asking me about my sex life. I said I don't discuss about my sex life with others. So he started telling me about his. I know, I cringed too. How he and his friend go to Mumbai whenever they get enough money, to have fun. He then said the most ridiculous thing. He said, "My friend was punished for his deeds. You know, the girl he married was not a virgin". Knowing very well what would be the answer, I asked him, "How did he know?" The way I asked him may be, he assumed I didn't know anything about sex. He said, "You will know if it is the first time for a girl." I asked, "Arrey, that's what. How will you know.?" In a low voice he then said, "Saar, they will bleed 'there' when they do it for the first time". I laughed out loud. I told him that it need not necessarily happen. I told him about what hymen is, how it can tear due to other reasons like, exercise, accidents or masturbation. And even if it didn't it need not bleed during first time if done properly. I tried to educate him in my own little way. He looked at me confused and said, "You people read all these stuff from textbooks and think you know everything. We have practical knowledge saar". If he wasn't driving the car I would have kicked him out. :-/

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    1. Hahaha quite something that! Practical knowledge? Seriously?

      Give me his number!!!

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  16. Are you frigging kidding me about that cream??? I had heard some news about a fairness cream for the vagina --- because you know, that's what every woman wants --- a fair vagina. But seriously...strengthening the muscles? WTF load of crap is that?! I have heard about hymen reconstruction surgery and I think it's appalling that women go through it and worse, doctors agree to do it. The reality is not all women bleed the first time they have sex anyway! So go figure!

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    1. Check out that link in the post. There exists one such cream in all its glory!

      Its a sad sad world out there. Worse so, here in India.

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  17. hmmmmmmmmmmmm now how sick can a person be who thought of this.. but then in todays days and age anything sells ..

    and regarding the men who have been boasting of sleeping around , well let me tell you from a man's point of view, they are only BOASTS .. :) believe me .. In my job I have seen so many of these boasters, who cry like a baby when we raid a place and the girls in there have nice little stories to tell about them ...


    Bikram

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    1. I'm glad you cleared the air about the boasts! :P

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  18. Only they who become virgins (cease sex and perverted thoughts) shall be redeemed (Rev. 14:4). Similar doctrine and fact in every culture.
    .

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