Bloody Boring


'Kurbaan', was awaiting this damn movie from God knows how long. So me and my friend decided to watch it after office. With great difficulty, we got the tickets on the first day and hurried to the theatre escaping from office.

You know that a movie is not good when you start noticing only the clothes and makeup. This is exactly what happened to me with Kurbaan. The movie starts off in a Delhi college, where Avantika and Ehsaan, played by Kareena and Saif respectively are professors. They meet, go out for coffee, fall in love and are married within the first 20 minutes of the movie. They makeout in every place possible. The streets, cabs and believe it or not in the staff room. I mean if professors had so much fun, I wouldn't mind being one :P.

After their wedding, the movie shifts to NewYork where they start working as professors in NewYork University. Thankfully they are not making out in the staffrooms of NYU. Kareena teaches Psychology. Now that psychology teachers are supposed to be as goodlooking as Kareena I think I need to give a serious thought to studying psychology :P. Okay, jokes apart now I'm more interested in the subject than before. Saif, on the other hand teaches an imaginary subject "Impact of Muslims on the west". I cant believe that the dean of NYU agrees to a total stranger teaching a controversial subject to their students. The story(if any) loses track after the first half n hour of the movie. Suddenly Saif agrees to being a terrorist and Kareena is under house arrest and has to be mute to all her surroundings. She even has to cook for her husbands' terrorists friends and serve them like she's the best hostess in the world. Why, you never know.

The biggest mystery to me is why the people who are aware of what is happening around them don't contact the police. When Kareena finds out that her husband and his mates are planning to blow up a plane with an entire NewYork Delegation aboard, she tries contacting Dia Mirza, a journalist who is a part of the delegation. Why dint she contact the police or the airport authorities? The worse part is when Vivek Oberoi (in a dismissal role) finds out who is responsible for the plane blowing up incident tells "Main unse nipat lunga", instead of contacting the police. These form really big potholes in the movie. And that was only the beginning.

Performancewise Kareena excels. She looks gorgeous in the first part and her clothes and make up are bloody brilliant. Saif, looks kinda lost in the movie and the negative streak in him doesn't beat the one in 'Ek hasina thi' and 'Omkara'. He looks stylish and sleek. Its kinda surprising that a guy whose only motive is to destroy the anti-muslims is so updated with the latest fashion trends. Kareena's love for him in real life oozes out in every frame. Vivek and Dia play minute roles without any significance. Vivek and his fake accent only made the movie worse. I miss his Saathiya persona. Kiron Kher only looks funny in her western costumes and does nothing to help the slipping plot. Om Puri should retire. Its high time.

The biggest thing that was impossible for me to digest was that Saif's pictures are all over the police systems and yet he walks around like a free bird all over the city. One more thing is Kareens seducing him inorder to get some information when he's asleep. Instead of trying to sex him into sleep she could have just sedated him, which would have been more simpler and shall have reduced the length of the movie by atleast 15 mins. But Karan Johar is a smart producer. He knows that his story line is faulty and he needs viewers and hence the sexy song forms the USP of the movie. Kareena's excuse for doing that bold song was "Its integral to the script". Bullshit. I can come up with a dozen excuses to put a guy to sleep instead of tiring him out to sleep :-). Eventhough the song was not needed, that song is amazingly passionate and sung beautifully. It clearly forms a honeymoon song and I'm super addicted to it now. It has a very strong classical touch and is passion personified.

There sure is a lot of blood shed in the movie. The tagline says, 'Some love stories have blood on them'. I surely saw a lot of love and blood but sadly no story. The love between them has been seen before and is highly publicised already as 'Saifeena' and there is no need to sit through such a movie to see it. You surely can do much better Karan. Stick to your 'Wake up Sid!' kinda genre. This one surely is not memorable.

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