It was really cold last night. I reached home from work earlier than usual, and sat with a mug of coffee waiting for my parents or my sister to return. I do enjoy solitude yes, but definitely not after a long hectic day at work. Nothing interesting on television either and I was feeling too lazy to walk into my room and pick up the laptop. So I decided to go for a walk. So I walk up to my terrace, 2 floors above my floor, in my work clothes including my pain inducing high heels. Luckily I had my blazer on, else I would have walked into hell. And then, came the thoughts.
Love sure is a funny thing. It gives you so much, so much to think about. So much to feel. 5 years have passed with more than 3 years of togetherness, but the feelings just remain the same. Maybe a bit more intense and mature. Its no longer butterflies in the stomach and a stolen kiss, its about practical togetherness and understanding and the million things that a single look or hug convey. Why I say love is funny is that, 2 years of being apart actually taught me all this. There is something about love. First of all it struck a solid impermeable heart like mine, leaving it all mushy and molten. Next, it showed me heaven and inspite of a few small trips down hell, still continues to. No doubt, its the best feeling in the whole world.
It makes you a thinker. Love can make you dream like a fool. Its not a problem, its often a solution. Its funny because inspite of all those tears and melancholy filled days, it still manages to leave a smile on your face. You know there still is love when you smile thinking of the first time you laid your eyes on him. You know there still is love when you think of the first touch and you still get goose bumps. You know there still is love when you can still taste the first kiss. You know there still is love when you get a rush when you know you are going to meet him. You know there still is love when you can see all that love beneath that veneer of hate in his eyes. You know there still is love when nothing has changed, inspite of everything.
Falling in love has never been important to me. For me its all about staying in love. Yes, I've kept my bargain.
I don't know why but at that time there was only one thought in my mind that I kept humming. Its surprising because I don't know the rest of the song, or the movie its from. Its more shocking because I cannot recall where have I heard this before. Felt like my last day on earth. Spooky!
"Lag ja gale, ki fir ye, haseen raat ho na ho.. Shayad fir, is janam me, mulaqaat ho na ho"