Heartbreak is one of the most toughest of pains. It refuses to leave and always takes away a part of you. My first heartbreak was when I was fairly young. I had just started working and I knew that a long distance relationship would not survive. And as expected, it went down the drain in the most horrible way possible. Life is cruel at times. When one thing goes wrong, everything around goes wrong as well. That was one of the most toughest period of my life. I was away from family in the most horrible city ever, had just gotten out of a relationship, the cultural difference was taking a toll and my health was gone for a toss. I thought well, this is it. This is how my life is going to be always. I felt a mixture of emotions within me and none of them were pleasant. I refused to get out of the moping phase and sat pondering about what went wrong, without bothering about what I could do to set things right.
At times life does that to you. It shows you only emptiness. The void completely consumes you, leaving no room for anything else. The hurt was fresh and deep. I lost myself within me. I don't know if I was more in love with the person or in the concept of love itself that I refused to accept the fact that it was over. My life turned upside down overnight and I could not find my way out. I tried a lot to put my mind into something else. I developed new hobbies and tried to put the pain away. But it always came back to me the minute I put my head on the pillow at night. Insomnia struck and then I turned into a zombie. I was just breathing, not living. I had given up on life and was awaiting what ever that was coming for me. Yes, I had surrendered.
One fine day, during the wee hours I got a call saying that my mother had fallen down and hurt herself on her head and was admitted in the hospital. That broke something within me. Within minutes I was packed and ready and on a plane to come and see her. Till date, I do not know what gave me the strength to do it. I sent a message to my manager that I will be gone for a while and I left. When I landed in Bangalore, I saw that my sister and father were exhausted with all that they had just been through. I could not break down then. I felt that I needed to be strong and take care of them. Thankfully, the injury was small and my mother was all fine with two days. She came home soon, and I was relieved to see her normal again. That was when I thought that I had not thought about myself for these two days. My focus was only on my mother and she had come out with flying colors. All the burden that I had been carrying was forgotten, albeit just for a while.
That is when I saw that life was much more than what I thought it to be. My job was crappy, I was stuck in a different city and I was heartbroken. But apart from that everything else was fine. I wonder why I did not see it until then. My mothers laugh gave me the strength to put aside my troubles. That week I spent as much time as I could with her and I realized that I was smiling more and more. My troubles did not seem all that big now. It was getting tinier by the day. I went into deep thoughts and decided that I would not take life like this. I'm going to fight. The first thing I did was inform my manger that I'm not coming back to that city. I wanted to stay here. We argued for two days and the third day he had my transfer papers ready. This eased me out completely. I was back with my family and in my comfort zone. What else did I need?
Soon I realized that God was only trying me because I had the strength to get past it all. I fought every demon that plagued my mind. I worked hard and was appreciated. My new work place was wonderful and I was learning a lot. Plus, I discovered writing. This left me with little time to think about the past. Soon, the love and the person was forgotten. I focused only on the positives of my life and everything seemed sorted. In a few months, I found love again and it was as beautiful as it was before. My life was back on track and I could help but think of that one moment where I decided to sort things out for myself. Had I not done that, I might still have been stuck in something that I loathed. That one minute of optimism, changed my life. I turned into an eternal optimist after that. In life, no matter where you are or how down you are pushed to; it is never too late to look up and start fresh.
This was my look up story. What is yours?